How much it takes idont know but I spend years loving her. It begins when I end my secondary School life and went to collage till then my past was full of suffering hidden in a voice of time my fortune and luck were totally fuck on me I though that my present would be fine but I was wrong . The thing which happens to me changed me a lot .It all started when I get admission in+2 as our previous school didn't have +2 in it so we have to move for new one .after getting admission.ah, not alone few of my old friend were there with me. But still new place have missirable effect we all were stranger it takes many days to cooperate and commucinat with each other and make new friends of course few only. Times passes with but my bad luck has not left me yet only few days were passed and I have a fight in a school bus with my classmate. This fight have changed many things rather than all the hidden Truth . For a first time I got a crush on one girl name Ritika she was the only one who have won over my heart proving my mind wrong making it hanged and speechless. She was totally different of all ,ya for me, whatever" but I have a unknown un expressible attraction toward her .Her presence make me feel something I have never felt.and ya my friend were too aware of this so they keep on teasing me with her name and always make fun out of me with an expression I have on a face when she was near by . Aha,What a moment I always keep on starring at her in class room and whenever she turn around I behave as if i am so busy in learning. But she doesn't know that I have a crush on her. but not longer my class friend Avinash told her about my feeling as he was very friendly and close to her so it was easier for him to say. and ya Avinash was the shameless guy I have ever meet . Coming back to point .After knowing this she never asked me and ya why should she asks but it was not wasted her expression toward me has suddenly changed she was trying to be friendly. And as I was addicted to my habit of starring her sudden an instant she caught me and smiled . Ah that smile .And from then whenever she saw me she gives a smile at me and I was so shy that I put my head down with a blush on my face but seriously when I saw her smiling i get that happiness I think I was living for her single smile was enough for me to forget all tention and problems of my hidden life context un know to everyone. 5 months passed like this yet we didn't have any talk expect the only contact I have with her soul.After some Time she send me friend request on FB I was so surprised I can't express but there was a reason behind sending it she wanted me to know that she didn't have any feeling for me and ya that time I don't care of this but later on when I become talktive to her I was really getting submerged in her love although she only talk to me on Facebook the only conversation we have yet not face to face . But felling need no face only way you express it . Times passes we were at last stage of our +2 and then I thought that I am close enough to express my felling and make her understand .so I decided to propose her on FB only it take so hard only I know .But I have done with it I was little scared little worried and that whole night I didn't slep waiting for her reply , thinking about her reaction was not letting me to sleep night passes and beautiful day started but it was beautiful for me or not decision was pending .Not so much but I remember her reply came on 8.o. Clock am ,, the answer has changed my wrold my heart and my state of mind got disblanced. I can't even think of this .. she rejected .After this it felt that I lost a reason to live to smile and nothing was left for me in this world I have tried my last to make her understand but it didn't worked finally she has rejected me the one whome I think was a reason for my smile have heart me most my un destructable heart was broken into thousand pices of my tears it was frist time ever I have cried for somene once again she make me speech less but this time it hurts I have faced many problems in my life and non of them were strong enough to make me cry but . .... For a instant life stop for me there was pause a ocean of tears in which my soul was swimming she has made me heartless now I lost all the hope to get her since my board we're soon and my state of mind was not good or ready to handle or prepare my heart was not expecting this that she have rejected me .L mean how can the one for whome I have wasted my whole year has betrayed me just like as if she never cared .The conflict between my mind and heart was pissing me into the hell of smokes there comes a phase from roses to cigarettes .I have never wanted any thing expect her from life an life has given me everything expect her to me after her rejection I become completely blind . An yaha she was richer than me in money as she was daughter of our school owner but iam richer than her in land an if I put my land in value for all her family fortune I could buy her 6 times and also o iam stronger in source and background as well in both politically and criminally one should dreme of but despite of all things nothing was capable of winning her coming back to point . The wound her rejection has done to my heart was in curable and medicine of time was not so stronger even liquor fails to heal it she have make me believe that. There is no value for felling in this world just use and left one if you do than you have understand life. She has changed me into evil I could be and still no sorrow I see .And yas despite of all this she have a right to be independent to someone and say what she should but still she had encouraged the gangster in me and now what I have was just a haterate for her full in my veins but the pain In my heart remains the same and still I dream that one who have given the wound is one who can heal it still get confused that I hate her for all or I hate everyone everything because of her whatever it is it s killing me slowly the good in me and the conflict is that I hate her for rejecting me or I love her so much that I have rejected the world for her still searching and not letting my wound heal because when times fails to cure thats the gift of love on should get for loving someone who can never be his .
