Why Not

It hurts

So I haven't been posting anything latly and that's because I'm trying to heel from something so painful its almost unbearable.

The Explanation: 
So the reason I haven't been posting or doing anything is because I fell in love with the person I know to be the love of my life and I know that sounds foolish because of how young I am but I know that this man was it for me.  I found everything about him perfect and I wanted nothing more than to always please him.  I spent months, days,  hours,  seconds loving this man.  And I still love him.  As of yesterday he broke up with me because of some separation issues.  You see he is leaving for the Army in three weeks and he doesn't want to drag me down and put me through so much pain while he's away.  He wants me to spend the rest of my high school years being happy and carefree but he doesn't understand that he is the very thing that makes me happy and carefree.  Hes my reason to live honestly.  About 4 months ago I was going through some struggles with my family and my real father and he was there for me and convinced me to live and keep moving on.  He had told me that he was going to buy me a ring and marry me one day.  And I believed that he would.  I helped him talk to his real mother and tell her his real feelings towards her.  Now that he is gone I don't know what to do or how to feel.  I love him so much and I wish he would come back to me.  I know he loves me because he's been crying and hasn't slept since we broke up but he doesn't want to hurt me.  I wish he would come back to me or take me back  so that this unbearable pain will go away...