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i wouldn't lie, ever, not to him especially. and that means, when i'm allowed to speak, it's what he wants to hear.
which is the truth.
if he says i love him, then i do. if he says i need to be a good kitten, i'll be his good kitten.
unfortunately, none of its true. it's all what his sick mind wants to hear.
i could never care for someone like him, not after what he's done.
i miss the old taehyung, the one who would stop me in the library to give selfless compliments, and how we could go on for hours about how nice star gazing was.
how we would go out for coffee, acting like there was no one else in the world. but i was too blind to see, who he really was.
he had me wrapped around his finger, i was in love you could say. i was fond of him, i admired everything about him.
his small but bright smile that he would always show off to me in between classes.
how he would only focus on me and when we were alone, he would hold my hand.
the feeling of his warm skin was the greatest feeling, and i was so happy.
but taehyung, you didn't tell me that you were the one
who tattooed people
to claim them as yours.
you didn't tell me that you knew everyone who was dying. instead you told me that you felt sorry for me. because i knew them too.
and maybe i wasn't close with them, but i can tell now that you didn't like it. you didn't like me being close with someone else.
you didn't tell me that you were faking everything, and i mean everything.
all the laughs, touches, the coffee dates, the time we would hide away in the little forest with the treehouse from my childhood.
the star gazing and sunny days where we would take walks that i loved so much, but i don't even get to see the outdoors anymore.
i think to myself a lot now. like how you just did all of that, so you could get me to stick with you.
and so i wouldn't see the bad sides of you, i know i'm not wrong.
and taehyung, that was never how i pictured our first kiss to be.
you aren't the person i pictured being with.
✍︎
shoot, don't worry, next chapter will get kinky again and you'll be reminded of the days ;)
