Iris

Chapter Sixteen

"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."

~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

***

I had been blinded by rainbows my whole life. I never quite knew the true meaning of suffering or of torture . . . just that I never had the right to say I've suffered. And I never had the right to turn a blind eye to those to do. I never had the right to sit in my room all day and still say I've seen things.

For some reason, I still held onto the hope that what I was going through in this palace was temporary. Whether it was through death or through being rescued, I was going to get to leave soon. But then I remembered, Aphrodite would not kill me with Psyche within me and the only two people who would possibly save me were Eros and Phoenyx. And I had made an enemy out of one and the other was probably too scared to return.

I crawled out of bed, taking the satin sheets with me. I was weak with hunger and with pain. Hopelessness draws more blood than a knife. And at that moment, I was pretty hopeless. I wanted to leave. I wanted to cast the satin sheets from my shoulders and walk out of this palace, never to return for as long as I live.

I shook my head. That would never happen.

And that was how I knew I was hopeless. I couldn't even accept that there was a chance for escape. There wasn't.

The questions swirled in my head like doves with the answers tied to their feet. And I could never jump high enough to catch one. What did they want with me? Was she trying to lure Phoenyx to rescue me? Was hurting me her way of hurting Eros? Was there bad blood between them? Where was Iris? How did she tie into all of this. Was she with Phoenyx? What was he doing? Was he with Iris?

I stopped asking these questions when I realized I was just walking in circles. I was desperate for answers I would never have known until after they were meaningless to me.

I felt a small spark in my head as an idea flared. I stood, the satin sheets slipping down the length of my emaciated body and pooling at my feet. I ambled out of the room and followed the delegating shriek of Aphrodite ordering faceless servants around. I pinpointed the room and sank to the marble floor just beside the door. I hugged my knees and crushed my eyes shut as I channeled the goddess's thoughts.

***

I looked around at the other goddesses. We all sat in judgement in a grand room yet not grand enough. I took pride in my dislike of this room. My standards were high.

I felt all of their disgruntled stares. They envied me for my power but hated me for my beauty. Meanwhile, I envied them as well. They still had more wall to climb. They could still rise higher and gain more power.

Me, I had everything to lose. My armies could fall. These were armies built on hatred and fear and not on love and respect. If they knew how much I depended on their obedience, then I was faced with revolt, an all too possible revolt. I would be humiliated.

But I had a plan to keep them all quiet. First, I needed a new soldier. Second, I needed a new body. That was why the other goddesses were no edgy with hatred. I was determined to snatch up a certain young boy and attached to him was more power than he was aware of.

I glanced at the girl of pearly white skin and pure white hair that caught the light and shined like diamonds. Her eyes were gray and glittered with nervousness. She nibbled on her lower lip with perfectly white teeth. This chewing wetted her grey lips and they shined.

I knew where she was headed. She had very little of a clue but I knew she would fight it. I would have cherished what they are making her: a host.