Kinda Like a Diary...

Drama Diary

Guesing this is gonna be my ranting book....if interested guess you'll be reading....right now I'm in a mood so don't comment unless your going to help or have a nice comment. If you don't have anything nice to say don't you even try to say anything. WARNING: There will be cursing, maybe.

So here I go..........

Today: 2/28/14

I am so sick and tired of being so mad and angry at the world. I just want to curl up in my bed and cry my heart out, even though I know that sounds clique.... I have this pent up feeling that I can't get rid of unless I punch something. I absoultly hate things right now...my eyes are tearing up I'm so sick of this. I'm not suicidly or anything but I'm just fed up. I want to run away from everythig. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to go cry. Just go home and cry. I'm in school right now so I can't go home. I have tests today and Presentations. I ahte school. An overwhelming feeling to cry and punch something at the same time, is taking over. I don't want to hurt anyone. Am I horrible? To want to do something about what I'm feeling? Wanting to punch someone. Wanting to just watch them bleed. To hurt like me. I hate. I hate. I hate. I hate I hate I hate I hateIheateIhateIhate........I want to crawl up out of the pit. A dark overwhelming pit of darkness.I want to break through. I'm sick and tired of all these people pissing me off. Of course right now I'm in a pissy mood.

People got yelled at today, and it wasn't called for. I uderstand that they were in the army and stuff but, it was like they were trying to talk to a child that did something wrong. So what if they didn't understand how to do it? It was a new topic. We only worked on it for a couple of weeks. They had more time to hone in on the skill. And that person pretty much targeted that one person that didn't understand. The group could have done something but we didn't. I could have done something. Now There are other people passing the window and someone is laughing at them. It makes me sick. That is just wrong. They are working hard on something that is pointless and stupid. My opinion of course. The person that got yelled at wanted to punch that person.

Also I don't want to be discriminated because I'm a girl. I hate it. Even if they don't say anything, I can tell what there thinking. Of course my pissed off version of what people are thinking, "oh she's a girl, she's weak. Don't let her do to much, she'll overexert herself." I hate it. I'm not weak. Even though I am in some way. But just that look that people have in their eyes pisses me off and makes me feel small. does anyone want to feel small? No.

I feel like I'm about to burst.

I have no outlit for all this anger and all my emotions. Whatever people say about exercise helps with stress, for some it may work, for me no. I need to hit something.

I hate being pushed around. Just for the fun of it. Lunch. Someone pushed me by accident and I froze for a sec then shook it off like oh well what can you do right? Well, I get pushed again but it was intentional this time and I'm like ignore it. THEN I get pushed AGAIN. So I move out of there way but I get further towards the food, in the lunch line. Then they go after my friend and I'm thinking, you touch her again I'm gonna rip off your head.

But that's not like me. I don't want to hurt people. I'm afraid of myself. Cause in a split second I could hurt someone. I don't really like the word hate. It's such a strong word. I like the word dislike more. I'm just using hate because I'm pissy. I'm against violence. I don't like it at all.

Now I feel like crap. I want to curl up in a ball and just cry. Cry until I'm to tired to do it.

________________________________________

So yeah.....Don't really care who reads this....just me and my thoughts...

(Yay yay, spelling and grammer and shit, I know. I was ranting, give me a break.)