Kinda Like a Diary...

10/26/15 Senior Year

Whoever said senior year will be a breeze, was wrong. They are so wrong in so many ways. First, you're applying to colleges and universities, which a lot of them require an essay. Second, for the financial aid stuff you need to fill out paper work and get your taxes done to even fill out the financial aid portion. Third is applying for scholarships. Fourth, you have all of that, plus regular school work. Fifth, if you have a job, that's another thing that piles up.

I'm working with a person who is helping me get into colleges. I love working with her, sometimes it's stressful, but still love working with her. Then she had so many kids come to her that she hired another person to help out. Now it goes like this; the person that helps out gets everything set up and gets the info, while the other person is doing that and finalizing the college applications.

On to today, and why I'm actually writing here. Today was a bad day. Woke up to my mom yelling at me to get up so I'm not late, just because I missed a day last week because I overslept. I had my alarm set, I know when to wake up, been getting myself up and driving myself to school since junior year, I think I fucking know when to freaking wake up. Second had some kid spit water on me. Mind you it probably wasn't intentional, but the kid had the nerve to not even say sorry. Just one fucking word and he couldn't even fucking say it. Now I had this kids germs all over my arm and just knowing that it was there was disgusting enough. Then I have a friend of mine telling me what to fucking do with my life, which NEWS FUCKING FLASH, I'm an independent person who doesn't take orders from people. Next, was the pile of homework that came with being a day absent (day absences will kill you). Then I get to my appointment with the assistant to the college person and everything's going fine, until I show her a website that I think is very useful, maybe not in the big picture but useful enough it will increase the scholarship money by a pinky. Money is money, anything is better than nothing when getting scholarship money. Then the assistant says that the website isn't the big picture and I should be focusing on the FASFA and CP something or other. I'm like ok I got it, I already understood it, but I got it. Then we go onto a website for one of the colleges I'm applying for and I see a deadline that matches up with the scholarship website and I'm like oh hey! Look at that, so that's why they said by such and such date. And then, the assistant person snapped. She got all snippy with me about how that scholarship website wasn't going to help me in the long run and how I should be focusing on the bigger programs. And for the rest of the appointment, she was snippy.

News flash assistant person, like I said up in the paragraph above, money is money, anything is better than nothing. Ever little bit counts. Missing like $5,000 for scholarships? Then this site is useful. This site is like the topping on the ice cream. You have the two scoops of different flavor a but you need that something extra to really fill your craving.
Another point I would like to say. When she started reiterating about the other scholarship programs and how they were so important, I felt like she was doubting my intelligence. I understand when you hear something about 30 times you start to memorize it. But it was like she didn't think I understood what that meant. She said she knew I understood how important it was, but she probably didn't, cause she kept, on, saying, it, over, and over, AND OVER AGAIN. And you know that look that people give you doubting that you actually understood what was said? Yeah, she gave me that look. And that other look, the 'asking if you understood what was said.' Yes bitch, I know what was fucking said. No faith=no trust, and works the other way around. I felt stupid, because it was as if she was talking to a small child, who mind you, are probably smarter than adults really know. We just forget as we grow old. I feel frustrated. I feel frustrated by the fact that she's doubting my intelligence. Sure maybe I'm not showing it because:
1. I'm lazy, when I wanna be
2. I'm a procrastinator, comes with the laziness, but! I still get my work done.
3. I'm the type of person that can get stressed easily. I have to have some kind of foundation or structure to guide myself by, and if I don't have that, then I go haywire (it's the Capricorn way, if you believe in that stuff).

So yeah. That was my day today. And now I'm going to go relax and take a nap. I hope and wish y'all are having a better day than me. Keep your chin up, back straight, walk confident because you are you. Believe in yourself and you can go far. Love y'all! Bye!!
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Kumo