Diaries of the Forest

My Story So Far

I'm not very good at many things. I'm bad at sports, I don't run fast and am very weak. I hate reading, unless it's mystery or fantasy. I'm average at math, but I don't like it.

But I do know I'm at least decent at drawing. Drawing has always been a passion of mine. It's like... I could talk without moving my mouth. Express things I couldn't talk about. I'm sure if others looked closely, they could tell how I truly felt.

That's another thing I'm good at. I'm good at facades.

Others see me as a cheerful fairy that will smile no matter what situation... only those who know me well know that in reality, I'm a small leaf that barely gets any sunlight. A flimsy stem, that could break easily with just a single touch.

But if irked, I could also turn psycho on you :D

We just finished basketball in gym, which I'm grateful for (I can't make one basket even if my life depended on it...), buuuut... we're starting lacrosse. I haven't played that before, but I can guarantee that I'll most likely fail terribly and get hit.

I've been feeling... kind of down, because of my "friends". Oh, I'm about to get really psycho and mad right now, so beware.

See, my "friends", we were close in fifth grade. I met them in fourth grade, 'cause I changed schools. Didn't move or anything like that, just wanted to. Back then, I was an innocent little seed. Didn't understand the shadows of the world, the weeds, and if told, I'd just think it was funny and laugh it off.

Going waaaaay back, in kindergarten, I was very... naive. I didn't finish kindergarten, only two months left. We moved from our apartment to a bigger house because my sister was just born at the time. Yup, I'm the oldest. I had this one friend named.... well, let's just call her "X". X, I still don't remember her personality that clearly, but I remember how she looked like. She wore two small, black pigtails that rested on her neck/back, and a row of bangs that covered most of her forehead. She had brown eyes, and had narrow eyes, like me. We were both Asian. I remembered she made me a good-bye card before I left, but I don't know where it is now... I wonder if she remembers me?

Moving on, in the first half of elementary, I was very naive still, fearless. Kinda of like how my little sis is now. I often butt in conversations that didn't concern me, wasn't afraid to state my opinions on things, etc. I hate that aspect of the younger me, but at the same time, I envy it. I don't have the courage and fearlessness I had back then. I'm not as expressive, through words anyway, as I used to be.

I had this small group I was in. You know, there's the popular girls, the sporty people, and all that stuff? I was in the... uh... how to explain it? Gamer/role play/random group? I had these friends, let's just called them N, H, and A for now. H, I had vaguely known her in first grade, but never got to be friends with her until second grade. She always "ran away" from me, as I called it. She was Asian, like me, but Vietnamese. She was very perky, unlike X, who was quiet usually. N was very tall. At that point, almost everyone was taller than me. After all, I was, and still is, a tiny leaf.

Here is another aspect of my younger self that I hated. N's nickname was, "Negative N(his name)". I was naive at that time, and didn't realize that it was basically bullying, although it was just name calling. I still feel bad and still ashamed.

A was a gamer. I remember he said he played on an Xbox. During our role-plays, he would use the term "gamertags", which I didn't mind.

Ah, yes. There was also T. T was also an artist. He drew dragons a lot, while I draw very crappy drawings of anime. I remember we sometimes even had contests too, and I lost them all. I mean, don't blame anyone. His dragons sure looked better than mine.