Odd and Quirky Short Stories

Don't worry, it's what makes us human

Hello earthling!

My name is Delvok. I am a member of an advanced species called the Kig-Yar.

No we aren't like the aliens depicted in Halo.

That representation of us is completely inaccurate.

We are a humanoid species that with a little bit of retro fitting can pass as a human with little to no concern.

We landed on planet Earth soon after finding the New Horizons Space probe that you humans sent out a while back. We soon figured out were it came from (it wasn't very hard after all...) and went for a visit.

Since the probe came from a company called NASA we figured we should start there.

We were considered heroes to your people, but that soon changed.

This is the lost story of what actually happened to us.

------

The president of the United States came "rushing over" the second we landed. I say rushing over because it's took a few hours. You humans have such slow technology! It's okay, but strange.

We showed them some of the technology that we have devolved over these past couple years. It was nothing impressive, just some small things. All of the earthlings dressed in white coats were so impressed! I gave them a toy of sorts as a gift.

When the president arrived he came and grabbed the leader hand and shook it up and down a few times. It must be one of the greetings of humans.

The president then spoke saying "on behalf of the United States and its allies we welcome you!"

He seemed to be opening his mouth but keeping his teeth clenched. I copied it. He then laughed. I guess it's a sign of happiness?

Now you may be wondering how we understood everything that was happening. Well we have developed universal translators. At a young age, equivalent to a human being 3 years of age, they are implanted into our brains. We can not only understand the other language but also speak said language.

Anyways a human man in a green outfit who was standing behind us took out an archaic key card, walked over to a door, and swiped it in a key card reader.

A mass amount of people with flashing devices awaited out side. The leader said to stay calm and do the open mouth teeth thing.

------

We were Earth famous with in the hour. Every news story had our expeditions faces on it.

After the press got some "photos" (as I believe they are called) of us we were put into an automotive device that was long with many seats. It was long enough to fit the fifteen crew members (including myself), some people in white coats, and a few people with black metal contraptions.

I was sitting by the window with my arm laying against it and my head resting on said arm when a person in a white coat with a clipboard came and gingerly sat next to me.

They turned to me slowly, but not in a creepy way, and asked "hi there, could i ask you some questions?"

I looked back to the leader and they nodded. So I said "of course! What would you like to know?"

They did the open mouth teeth thing (which I now know is called smiling) and asked "what is your name?"

"Delvok."

The white coated person wrote that down.

"How old are you?"

"43 human years old, but for us Kig-Yars that's the equvliant of being 13 here on Earth."

The white coat looked confused.

"How do you know it's the equivalent?"

"Well white coated person, when we found your New Horizons Space Probe we scanned all of for anything that had to do with your most updated scientific theories, languishes, and basic culture specifically in the United States. Well did a general over view of other countries, but focused on the U.S. because we knew we were landing here."

The person widened their eyes.

"One last question, I think, why did your team come here?"

"Well we were looking to find a planet suitable for life and thought we would stop in and say hi to the people of Earth!"

The person nodded and then started to get up. However they suddenly looked confused and sat back down.

"If you are colonizing another planet, then why did you only bring the females of your species?"

I chuckled a little bit. "Well, our world had started to destroy itself back a while ago and some scientists figured out that it was the men who were corrupting society. So slowly but surely females started to take power. Women scientists also figured out a way to reproduce with out a man. Also said offspring would not be male. So women eventually took over our society and natural selection preferred females ruling and reproducing. So men eventually died off on our planet."

The white coated person furiously scribbled on their clipboard.

"Is this true?"

I shrugged. "It's what we do."

The person left and went to the back of the long automotive vehicle next to the men with black metal blobs.

------

I had fallen asleep and had been awoken by the jolt of the long automotive vehicle's sudden stop.

I got up out of my seat and followed the line of the crew. Here were a lot of people in all black with heavy looking plastic things on their chest.

I felt really uncomfortable. One of my great-great grandmothers had once described a scene like this that had been passed down through the generations.

The men on our planet were finally catching on to the women's plot. When the leader of our planet was going home for the day she was blocked in men in suits just like these. They then shot her.

Our leader is the last to get off.

I run to her screaming  in our language "I'm sorry I told them mom!"

She looked at and smiled "I told them the same thing."

The only sound I heard next was 14 thuds.

Then I screamed.

Tears streamed down my face as I turned to the president.

"WHY WOULD YOU HARM INNOCENT COLONISTS WHO HAD NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU?"

"Don't worry, it's what makes us human."

And then I saw black.