Getting You Back

Upsetting

James' POV

I stare at the tile floor in the hospital waiting room and shift around in my seat uncomfortably. The chairs were uncomfortable. This hospital was uncomfortable. No one ever comes into a hospital happy and leaves happy. Not even when your baby is born. Riley has been in the hospital since late last night and its now mid morning and I have absolutely no idea what is or was wrong with her. All I know is that she got very upset last night with the argument and the fact that her parents are moving to another country.

I chewed on my nails while waiting for some news on Riley. Her parents came around ten minutes after I had brought here to the hospital. I didn't tell my parents because as soon as Rileys parents had arrived, they told me it was my fault this happened and her father told me that he would hurt me if anything happened to her but in fact, its really their fault that she's upset and in here.

The nurses walk back and forth with clipboards in hand picking out people in the waiting room and bringing them back. At the corner of my eye I see a girl in the corner and I recognize her from somewhere. I don't think to much about it before a nurse calls Riley's parents names. Her parents stand up as do I.
We walk to the nurse who said Rileys name and which had a clip board in her hand like all the nurses. I tried to read her face but she didn't give to much away as if it was bad news or good news.

"Are you Rileys parents and brother?" She asks sweetly and I'm beginning to worry about how sweet this nurse was being.

"Yes, We are and this is her...... uh friend?" Her mother says referring to me as the 'friend'.

"Well, Riley has very low blood pressure and is very weak and not helping the baby at all. The doctor wants to put her on bed rest." She explains softly.

"My poor baby." Rileys mother cried. "Can we see her?" I ask.

"Yes she's awake but not there if you know what I mean." The nurse tells us and I follow her to Rileys room.

I slowly open that door and see the love of my life laying there with the white blanket on the half of her. She didn't look like Riley, in fact she's never been the same since Alfie came. It breaks me to see her like this knowing I cant help her.

I slowly approach her and carefully sit down on the side of the bed. She looked at me with no color in her face and no personality at all. No wonder why the nurse said she is there but isn't here. Her eyes looked red and puffy from tears. Riley caught my gaze and for a second our eyes met but she looked away like she was afraid.

I move my hand to touch hers that was resting on her lap. Her rings were still on along with the polish on her long nails. I just barely touched her skin before she looked down in fear moving her hand away from me and closer to her.

"Riley baby?" I whisper but her head doesn't move. "Riley, It James. You..your boyfriend." I cry desperately. I cant see her like this. She just looked at towards the window of the room. I look in that direction and notice the clouds coming in aren't white. They're gray and gloomy. Just matching this day perfectly. I take the hint that Riley doesn't want to see me and I get up and leave.

I don't dare to look back to see if she is watching me leave. If she wasn't, I would crumble. This has been a struggle for over a year and I'm sick of this. Sick of everything. Sick of being two steps forward and five steps backwards. This past year hasn't been easier. Not one bit. In fact this new year will be a struggle as well. It is not going to be easy being young parents who are not even married. Why did Riley have to fall pregnant?

As I walk through the lobby of one of the Toronto hospitals, The girl who I thought I'd recognized came up to me and I'm shocked as I figured out who she was.

"Hana?" I ask in disbelief. "Hey, Is something wrong with Riley?" She asks worried.

"Yea, Do you want to see her?" I ask hoping it will make Riley feel better to see Hana. She nods and follows me to Rileys room like I had done previous but only followed a nurse. I twist the handle and open the plain hospital room to reveal Riley and her parents by her side. Rileys father and looks up confused.

"Who is this?" He asks rather unpleasant. "I'm Hana, your daughters-" She starts but I interrupted her.

"Friend. This is Rileys friend Hana." I explain and her mother looks up giving me a weird look.

"Riley has not mentioned you before." She states. "That's becau-" "Hana has known Riley for awhile, Right Hana?" I ask nudging her trying to get her to play alone. Rileys parents would never let some girl Riley gave advice to into her room so I had to come up with the best friend coverup.

"And your pregnant too I see?" Rileys mother inquires. Why cant she mind her own business? She's almost as bad as my own mother.

"Uh.ah yea." Hana mumbles uncomfortable and I wrap around her as a comfort and giving her a look that its fine.

"Did you call her James?" Rileys father asks. "Actually no. I was here waiting for news with a friend of mine. Riley isn't the reason why I was here but I heard the nurse say her name then I saw James. I was scared for Riley and just wanted to see her. I'll go now." She says turning around to leave.

"No don't go. You may stay as her sister couldn't make it and Riley needs all the support she can get." Her mother replied and Hana looks relieved. Riley hadn't spoken the whole time and I'm beginning to think she wasn't even awake.

Hana and I sit on the couch and I think it was worse then the chairs. Hana whispers a quiet thank you while I reply with a smile but still with concern inside. I'm trying to stay strong. For Riley.

Riley's POV

I can't talk. I can't feel anything. I feel numb like everything I do is wrong. Everything James parents said is true. I don't deserve him. I caused him so much pain and heartbreak, I just can't accept his love. It's too much. I don't deserve to have love. And to add to that I nearly killed my own baby. I deserve nothing but loneliness. I hurt my so many people. My parents and James parents, his sisters and my dancers, I caused so much drama in the studio, so many fights that I had caused. I'm a disgrace to my family. I killed my own child and nearly my second too and most important I destroyed the love of my life. No one is going to understand what it feels like. They just don't get it that I don't deserve love and how tearing it is to be unaware of the fact that you hurt everyone you feel the slightest connection to until it's too late. No matter how hard James is going to try to convince me to let him love me, I can't give in. I won't be able to live with myself if I hurt him again and his parents are right. I will hurt him eventually and then there is no getting him back. He will be broken beyond repair and I can't bare that...

I just can't

So the Jiley baby is fine but for how long? 😉 We hoped you liked this chapter and again sorry for the lacks of updates, we're really trying.
XOXO