Shorts

Lights & Their Mockery of the Sun

I've been trying really fucking hard not to try so hard.
Really fucking hard to just let go.

My eyes burn from lack of closure.

Really hard not to try so hard.
Realize that I have no where left to go.

My left hand twitches, bones aching from prolonged stillness.

The radio returns to sleep mode as the room falls quiet of music. The rooms cold air suddenly halted to a still wave, as if the music had given it a rhythm to dance to. As if it were it's source of life, and without it, it fell to only a lifeless series of beats.

I flip to my left side, staring out over an old Ferris wheel through the water splattered window overlooking half of the city. I release a deep sigh as Jett curls into a ball at the edge of the bed and the overhead announces sleep mode for all rooms. As if my eyelids were light switches, I fell instantly.

I wake up the next day at 10 a.m. The brightness of the morning sun embodies the half open old white stained curtains. They begin to glow, just as the sun disappears behind a thick cloud. I sit up and instantly get greetings from Jett.

"Mornin' Jett."

He gives more greetings.

I stand up, and the sun has casted a bright mirage just before the old ferris wheel.

I walk down the spiral stairs, the lights flickering on after me through the halls. I hear Julie downstairs cooking breakfast. Before I get to the bottom of the stairs she greets me with a fresh scrambled egg, still in the pan. She smile checks me. I give her a stare and shuffle past her pretending to not notice her offer.  She hesitates before turning around to me and scolding me for not accepting her act of generosity. I give her another stare, before grabbing my bag from the chair and a couple apples from the almost dusty fruit arrangement sitting in the middle of the dining table. I walk back upstairs, remembering my shoes and wallet. I wait until I hear the stove enter sleep mode, so i know Julie left the kitchen. I walk without turning a head to the front door. The security camera scans my face and flashes a dull green. The grand door opens silently.

The best greeting is that of the sun. An aroma of fresh plants hits me as the grand door shuts behind me. I feel my phone vibrate in my clothing. Not remembering anything from the night before, I quickly pat both my pockets in my jeans and my sweater. I pull my phone from my hoodie pocket and read the text from Connor telling me to meet him at the old ferris wheel. I slip my phone into another pocket ill forget later and walk down the stone path, through the old garden, and past the security gates.

Watching the passing trees as i graze down a shallow hill, I pull out my tape recorder and begin a new audio. I take a deep sigh as the thoughts begin to pour out.

"This town isn't as desolate as it seems. Things happen, sometimes." I take in another deep sigh, about to spill more words but I'm interrupted by a squirrel.

"Didn't you guys go extinct?" The squirrel stares at me, hooked onto the base of a skinny tree. I stare back, still recording. The squirrel runs up the tree, and i stop the record and fit it back in my bag. My phone vibrates but i let it ring.

Connor is sitting in the broken revolver cracked under the ferris wheel. He is plugging in the small christmas lights I brought the second time we came here. They flicker on and spread like an aura across the small wagon, over the dozens of winter blankets and threaded pillows. I sit down next to home. He's known of my presence the whole time, but he says nothing.

"I called you." He says, not facing me while straightening the lights next to his seat. I shrug, taking an apple and tossing it to him. He lets it fall into his lap. He stands up.

He offers me his hand. "I want to show you something." I hesitate.

I follow him up a series of ladders and platforms to the top of a broken superhero roller coaster. We are about 60 feet up when he sets out a blanket from his bag onto the metal platform. He sits and takes out the apple. "Sit." He looks up at me. I stare around, across everything. The trailer homes, the abandoned parks. the broken fast food signs.

I sit down next to him.

"Do you like it?" He stares at me.

I nod my head, still looking around.

Silence fills the empty void in our conversation that i fail to. He reaches into my pocket and pulls out my recorder. He plays back the last tape. I look down the steep drop to my right that breaks off between two pieces of broken cement. He lets out a quiet laugh when it's over.

"You're getting somewhere."

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A.n - Thinking about making this it's own separate story.