Weird girl

I feel dumb.

All the time. I say one word and I can feel my stupidity. That's basically how this started. My stupidity.

You probably think this is going to start like "hey, my name is Kate" but I feel like every word I put down I feel dumber. Laugh at this if you want. Confused? So was I. After I left Brookdale high school to become a law student, I really did, want to kill myself.

Yeah. I know. You probably like "why so depressed?" If you aren't into this kind of thing...consider not reading any further.

You know the media? That ideal woman? People called me that. I was a brunette , blue eyes with a perfect figure. This is from the perspective of a girl who had everything handed to her on a silver plater. Weird? I was I fact, a weird girl. Hey! That's the name of the book!

You probably think that after high school I would become someone great but in fact, my parents never spoke to me, I lost all my friends, just because of my stupid, stupid, words. Yeah, I may be pretty on the outside but did you ever consider what was on the inside? It made me angry every time a guy would whistle at me. Shut up all of you! Let me just walk down the street without idiots like you guys!

I get mad sometimes. I do have a temper. That's probably why I got into this mess. It's hurst to even speak of this just because, well, I'm really, really, stupid. I've said that tons of times I know, but, I feel it. Ugh. Well, I guess I'll begin my story.

When I was 18 years old just before school was out, I had this major crush on this kid. Yeah. I had like him since grade 6. He was my best friend, until, well, this accident. He was captain of the football squad and you could say he was kinda a bad boy. A week before school ended, I decided to tell him that I liked him. My friend, Mimi, who was also my closest friend since middle school, always got involved. She was at the time dating a 25 year old. Yuck. "Just ask him out Kate" she said with a massive pearly white smile. I stuttered. "Ww....what if he says no..o? She sighed heavily and frowned. "Who would say no to you?" She had a point but I hated her for all those "good explanations". "Fine" I said quietly. She fist pumped the air in her victory.

After school, I walked over to the football field. My palms were sweaty, my face was tense and probably walked like a zombie. I saw him. He was so cute! I strolled over calmly (I think I did) and smiled. "Hey Devvin". Yeah, that's his name. "Oh hey Kate, what's up?" "uh....I need to tell you something real quick". That sounded horrible. "I kinda...um...well...I kinda like you." The terrible truth revealed. He stared at me for a couple seconds and then in the corner of his eye I could see a sad gleam. Oh no. Here it comes. The rejection.

☻☻☻ hey guys! Let me know how this first little "chapter" went, Kay? Thanks so much if you're reading this. It means slot to me (: vote, comment, share? Up to you!