Nice Voices - English Version

Chapter 9 - Panic! at the Drummer's

Kai yawned loudly as he approached the door of his apartment, squinting his eyes for a few moments «yaaawwn...I'm coming...» he said to the frantic knock that could be clearly hear and when the drummer opened up, he found Aoi in front of him, his coat off his shoulders and a heavy breath coming out of his open mouth «what happened?» Kai asked now completely awake and a little worried, looking his friend pass over him, taking off his shoes in the entrance and then take a few steps inside his flat «I'm fucked...fucked to the bone» the guitarist exhaled turning to gaze at Kai who, with a raised eyebrow, walked until his hands could grasp the shoulders of his friend «oi, calm down and breathe...let's go in the kitchen, I'll make you some tea» smiled the leader with his soft voice.

Aoi shook his head to that suggestion «give me a beer and it could be better» he spoke, breathing deeply a few times, exhaling heavily and feeling the panic decrease barely.

Both moved to the modest kitchen of the drummer, well in order and with a glossy fridge full of good ingredients «so? Tell me from the beginning...did you end up in some mess?» asked Kai, holding out to Aoi his coveted can of beer.

The guitarist sat down at the table and tightening the drink in his hand, nodded slowly «yakuza?» inquired Kai again and for a brief second Aoi let out a laugh «I'm not Kou, aren't I?» he chuckled nervously, opening the can with a sharp gesture «you...you remember Maiko?» asked, looking at the leader sit down in front of him, on the other side of the table and Kai nodded «yeah sure...don't tell me she's back! I thought she married someone» «no, it's much...much worse» the guitarist spoke gravely, but with a gentle smile on his face «I sworn myself that I wouldn't fall for it again...that with our job is impossibile to have a stable relationship...but I'm fucked again» Aoi took a long sip of beer, feeling it fizz on his tongue.

He saw Kai's eyes ask him to go on, while the drummer was in complete silence.

The guitarist put the can onthe table and raised his other arm, putting his fingers in his smooth and black hair «tonight was our fourth date and...I gave her one of those vip tickets that we have, you know...backstage and all the shit» he looked at the drummer's eyebrows rise a little more, astonished «don't look me like that, I don't want to get laid, not now...otherwise I would be with her in a love hotel, no?» Aoi continued with an exasperated sigh «we kissed and...was much much worse than Maiko» he gulped with insecure voice, taking the can to his lips for a few more sips.

As if alcohol could help him continue the discussion «my heart exploded, I can't afford another failure like last time...it would be the time I finally throw myself under a fucking train» he added, tightening his grip on the can making it creak.

Kai nodded slightly, with a serious expression «you can always stop it now, you're still on time» he advised, looking at his friend melt on the table with the chin on his arms «I can't...» Aoi whimpered softly, a mournful tone broke his voice «I'm neck-deep in this shit, I'm too much...smitten».

The guitarist straightened his back, finishing his beer with long gulps «she's...sweet, funny, apprehensive...fuck, last time it was raining and she brought an extra umbrella because she thought I had to walk home» he told more to the drummer «and...she's shy, but sometimes opens up and...I don't know Yutaka, I don't know what to do» Aoi started to play nervously with the empty can, crushing it more and more between his palms «I...genuinely feel the lack of that kind of relationship...Maiko ruined me, that bitch... I wasn't so desperate for love, once» whispered the guitarist.

Kai smiled, leaning forward and pressing his arms on the table «if you feel this good, maybe this time is the right time. You've grown so much compared to ten years ago, you're no longer a kid» began the drummer, with a little shrug.

Aoi sighed heavily «but our job don't allow me to have good relationships...leaving out messes with fans and gossip, what if something happens while we're on tour? If she cheats on me because I'm away? No, long-distance relationships sucks» he coldly said.

Kai chuckled again, shaking his head to that sentence «then don't complain if you're still single» the drummer reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, gripping it gently «if you're more in love with this girl more than you ever loved Maiko, I suggest you to buy a ring and merry her within six months» he joked, noting a little flash of amusement in his friend's eyes «at least try, ok? Otherwhise why you dated her so much? Now, go lay on the couch, take a good nap and then go home and change up, tomorrow we have the reharsal early in the morning» the drummer stood up and after a couple of pats on Aoi's back, he headed in his own bedroom, disappearing in it for few minutes.

Aoi looked down at the can of beer now reduced to a small ball of metal and sighing he thought that, probably, his soul was crumpled up in the same way...he could feel it in his chest.

He could try again, hoping that this time would go all well, but he stil had a deep fear of the big love he felt and of the following immense pain he fallen into when that love broke in tiny pieces.

Aoi got up from the kitchen table, turned off the light of the room and after removing his jacket he went throw himself on Kai's sofa, in the little sitting room adjacent the kitchen «here goes, pillow and blankets for my desperate lover» Kai came back with what he had just announced, placing everything on the couch to create a small bed «after a good night of sleep, you'll have a clearer mind. Goodnight!» the drummer yawned again at the end, going to bed.

The guitarist then was alone, with eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling for at least two hours before he could start to feel drowsy.