the bullying crisis

3)Releaving the pain

When I get home I go to my bedroom dump my bags on my bed and go to my onsuite to releave the pain from today.

I got to my medicine cabinet in my onsuite to get some gauges and masking tape and secure it to my wristand then I change out of my school cloths and put on my normal cloths and quickly put a hoodie on just as I hear a knock on the door and it opens."Hi, darling I just wanted to come and check on you. You seem to be quiet a lot lately and just wandered if there was anything on your mind... such as boys- you know you can always talk to me-," I stop her dead in her tracks and tell her straight "No!"I don't want her to know about the bullying and especially what I do to myself.
"Well if you don't like boys, that's fine to there's nothing wrong with girls-,"And yet again I stop her in her in her tracks and interupt her, being a bit ride- unintentionally of course.
"No, mum I'm not a lesbian and I've not got a boy on my mind, I'm just a bit stressed that's all. And don't you wait for me to say 'you can come in' or 'come in' anymore?" Then her jaw drops open she stands up off my bed which we are currently sat on and looks somehow hurt by what I said."I'm sorry sweetheart I know schools stressful and with exams coming up as well I know how you feel. And in future I will do as you say and wait for you to allow me in." And with that she walks out of my room and closes the door behind her.

I can't help but feel sad and mad at myself for the way I spoke to my mother. Why am I so stupid?

So with that I head back to my bathroom and get the freshly cleaned blade roll up the opposite sleave to earlier and slit my wrist again. Once again releaving the pain-yet again. Why am I always making horrible mistakes? Why?

The next thing I know is I'm curled up on my king size bed crying myself to sleep.

Well that's chapter 3 done-I know I said I'd update tomorow but I got some ideas and inspiration. If you have any pointers let me know and I'll see what I can do to please you. I will update tomorow for definite now. Thanks all my lovely readers.
Charlotte xx