Letters to Nowhere

Chapter 1

He drops his keys on the bedside table, the bed dipping beneath him as I roll over to look at him. "Hey handsome. Why'd you work so late?" I was drowsy, but still excited to see him again.

"There was a lot of paperwork to do. I could've done it from here, but I didn't want to be distracted." He playfully glared at me as he finished his sentence, and I smacked him across the arm. I pushed him back on the bed and rolled on top of him, pinning him down. Okay, not really pinning him, since he could easily pick me up if he wanted to. I leaned in, pressing my lips to his. When we pulled away, we were both breathless. "See? This is why I had to stay at work." I playfully smacked him again and rolled over, huffing.

"You're no fun." But I rolled back over and smiled at him, stifling a laugh. "Just kidding. I missed you, that's all." I snuggled into his side and pulled him close. Breathing him in calmed my nerves, and I let out a breath, thinking of all we'd gotten through just to be here. "I'm hungry. What about you?" He nodded and followed me out into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and looked in.

"Do we even have any food in there?" I rolled my eyes, and planted my hand on my hip, trying my best at being sassy.

"What do you think I did all day today? I didn't just sit around. I'm not completely useless." I smirked and he came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me, and nuzzling into my neck. laughing, I rolled my neck to the side, giving him full access. He made little butterfly kisses all down my neck and over my shoulder, making my body involuntarily shiver. Trailing his lips back to my chin, he moved slightly to slowly kiss up to the corner of my mouth. Suddenly I had an idea and held up a finger, indicating for him to wait. I pulled out my phone and quickly pulled up Rae Lynn and Dan & Shay - Say. Turning the volume up and placing it on the counter, I shut the fridge door and leaned against it. I teasingly ran a hand through my hair before turning away.

He pulled me to him and spun me around, pushing me against the fridge. Our breath was ragged, the air electric. I was about ready to lean in and kiss him myself when his lips finally crashed down on mine. It started needy and frantic, but quickly dissolved to just passionate and loving. I wrapped my legs around his waist and clasped my hands together behind his neck, allowing him to carry me back through the kitchen, all the while still kissing.

Finally as we reached the bed and he put me down, I broke away to draw in a breath, sucking in air. "I'm not hungry anymore, you?" I smiled mischievously, my eyes surely holding a wicked glint. I leaned up and kissed him again, pulling him down to the bed with me.

***
I sat up in bed, surrounded by a pile of fluffy blankets, a few tattered stuffed animals from childhood, and a comforter or two. Gasping from the shock of so suddenly waking up after that dream, I held a hand to my heart, trying to calm myself. I gulped and looked down at my hands, sad that it was once again only a dream, a tear escaped the corner of my eye as I wondered if I could ever have him. I loved him, and wanted to be with him forever, but Romeo & Juliet didn't exactly end well.

I get up and quickly get dressed into the clothes I laid aside for myself. I can't keep doing this forever, but for now I'll deal with it. Deciding to forget the dream and move on with my day, I walked out of my bedroom with a false smile plastered on my face, a high chin, and a straight back.

***

Lunch was the worst period of the day.

Most people love it, and I used to. I still talk to my friends, which are becoming a more and more plentiful ring, and no, I'm not being bullied. But when there's not much to talk about but your own thoughts, you tend to get lost in your own brain. And for someone who's trying not to think about something, that's usually the first thing your mind goes to.

Sometimes this is torture, but I'd go through hell if it meant I'd get to be with him at the end. But it's not just that, I'm worried about him. I get this feeling that something's off, and most of the time, I'm right about that.

The thing is, the number one thing I hate, is feeling helpless, or dumb, and that is exactly what I've been feeling like for the past 9 days, which... well, it sucks.