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Y/N's POV
I know I agreed with him about keeping our relationship a secret but it hurts like hell every time he says he's single ... I can't help it, it hurts.
We've been together for six months and I hate the fact that I can't be able to kiss him when we're outside, we can't hold hands in public, we can't post pictures of us together, we can't even go on dates like normal couples do and I'm always cut of every video.
However I said yes to all this.
Yes to all this pain when he asked me to be his girlfriend.
Yes to the hate from his fans.
I wonder what it would be like if I say that he's my boyfriend, that's just asking for more hate.
Hates something I never experienced until I became his girlfriend, it sucks.
It sucks because it's getting to the point where I'm questioning myself if it's worth it or not being together when we don't even look like a proper couple anymore.
Now he's gone all weekends because of tour and we hardly ever see each other.
"Babe, I'll be home in 2 hours, see ya there?" I read his message.
"Yeah, see you there" I replied.
I wish they could understand that he's a human, that he'll has to experience what it's like to be in love, to have a girlfriend, to make mistakes, to break someone's heart or have someone breaking his own heart.
Just like everyone else because it is something that has to happen so he'll learn to move on.
I remember everything at the start of this was amazing, we were happy. Enjoying every minute together and now we barely see each other. I just want to spend more time with him because I love him.
Yes, I love him. I told him that exactly four days ago, I didn't expect him to say it back and he didn't but I'm happy I did tell him that because that's how I truly feel inside of me and we promised that we would always be honest about our feelings towards each other.
His family know about us, so does my family and some of his friends.
But I want more.
It's okay to want more and I'll tell him tonight.
I hope he understands.
I hope he feels the same way.
While I walk to his house I'm thinking about us, about me, about him, about everything we've done together.
Thinking about when the hate wasn't there, it was there but not as much as now.
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