Living Yet Not Alive (pewdiecry)

Day 394

   Confession time. I didn't kill those guys from the store when I went out. They kicked the shit out of me. That's why there was blood all over my hoodie. I could have easily killed them. But I can't do that. If I kill. I know I will be fully gone. I also didn't kill the people from my last group. Even though I blame myself for their deaths. One of them had a fucking grenade and was tossing it in the air. 18 year old college kid. He was a fucking dumbass and ended up setting it off. I could have told him to stop. But I just left. I heard them explosion as I was walking away. The rest of the group was asleep so I was the only one who could have saved them.
   Anyway. Felix had refused to let me drive. Because of my hurt leg, even though it was fine now. When Mark was driving he had leaned over and started whispering in my ear. "I'm sorry. I love you to much to let you get hurt. Your leg needs to heal more. You need to rest it. At least until we reach the prison." he then grabbed my hand.
   Back to he present. I guess I had fallen asleep because I woke up to the car stopping, Felix's arm around me, and Felix playing with my hair. I yawned and he chuckled quietly. "Have a good nap?" he asked. My cheeks were red. What was happening to me? I was alive. Feeling emotions again. And I... Loved it? I don't know. "Who wants to drive now?" Mark asked, I wanted to drive but Felix would disagree. "I will. And Cry can give me directions. You and Jack get some rest." Felix said taking his arm from around me. J got in the passenger seat. Felix, the driver seat. Mark and Jack hopped into the back. I gave Felix directions. Right here, left, take this exit. It was boring. I was glad when I saw the prison in the distance.
   As we pulled up to the gate, a guy with a shotgun walked over to the window. He looked so stern, making us all nervous. "You guys got a car started?" he smiled. "Yeah. Could we get in?" Felix asked, laughing. "Sure thing. Just park out here though. We need you to fill out a form. Then we will get someone to take you to the guy who runs things." the guy said. Felix parked and we all got out. We walked over to the guy again. "Good. Now we need you to fill this out." he said handing Felix a form on a clipboard with a pen. "Sure thing." Felix said. Felix handed it to Mark after writing something down, then Mark wrote a couple things down then handed it to Jack, and he then wrote something and handed it to me.
   The form was asking for everyone's name and date of birth. I wrote down "Cry" in the name part and wrote down a random date since all I could remember was that I am 25. I handed the form back to Felix. "Thankyou. I hope you all have a mighty fine time. We'll get someone to take you to Connor. He runs things." the guy said when Felix handed him the form. The gate slowly opened and we walked through. The guy walking in front of us. This place looked nice. The basketball court was now a garden. People were walking around. Even kids. Some kids were sitting around a table with books.
   I was taken away from my thoughts when I heard someone say something. There were two guys. "Hey Mike, new people?" Said one of them, he had an English accent. "Yeah. Could you two take them to Connor for me?" the guy asked. "Sure thing." the other one said, who also had an English accent. The original guy walked back out of the gate as it closed. "I'm Dan by the way, and this is Phil." on of them said as he began walking. We followed them to a large tent. When we entered there was a guy standing over a table, along with a couple others. I recognized them. They were the ones who I had "encountered" when I went to town.
   Whelp. I'm royally fucked.