Villain-y

Chapter 1: Andy ~ Meet Me, Your Charming Neighborhood Super Villain

I never wanted to be the villain.  I didn't want to rob banks or kidnap damsels.  All I wanted was to go to college, get a stable job, and help people.  Well, technically, I also wanted a pet lion, but that's a whole other story. 
Really, I never asked for any of this.  The money, the infamy, all of it: just side effects of being in the wrong place at the right time.
But Frank, oh, Frank had always wanted to be the hero. Ever since we were little kids, he'd strongly believed that he was special, and brave, and whatever other nonsense his mother decided to filled his head with. Of course, even as a child I knew that practically anything other than hanging out with Frank would be a better use of my time. But due to our houses' maddeningly close proximity, our parents often set up 'play dates' for the two of us (though honestly, they were more like fight dates).
          Whenever our parents locked us in the same room, we would play superhero and villain (since the awesomeness of this dynamic seemed to be the only thing we agreed upon).  This game may have been bearable, were it not for him always making me be the villain.
Any time I asked him about it, he'd say, "Heroes have to big and strong and brave.  You're just too small and wimpy.  And I'm an asshole."  Or something like that.  After a few such conversations, I gave up on being the hero and refused to play with him anymore.  But not before I punched him in the face a little bit.
He continues to claim that this incident was one of the first signs that I was "turning evil." Hell, maybe I was.  Still, I don't even remotely regret wiping the smug grin off that dumbass's face.
I'm getting sidetracked.  Sorry, I do that a lot - one of the many 'perks' of having a brain like mine.  My thoughts are pretty scattered, but personally, I'd rather my thoughts be scattered and intriguing than organized and vapid.  Vapid...  Oh, that reminds me, Frank's the one who started all of this.  He may not be aware of it, but that lumbering idiot's actions led directly to my first act of (alleged) villainy.
It all started with a teenager, a paper airplane, a banana peel, and a dare.  I know, that doesn't seem like a recipe for anything good.  And it wasn't.  It really, really wasn't.