You're sitting on the comfy couch at home, playing with your phone, and your boyfriend, Zayn, is relaxing beside you with his left arm around your shoulders. Without saying anything, both of you sit there in a comfortable silence, enjoying each others company. Finally bored in not winning the game you were playing, you curl into Zayn's body as you put the phone aside.
"Comfortable, hun?" Zayn asks you. You mumble a 'yes' and breathe in his scent that's always arraying off of him. You and Zayn are at your house, trying to spend as much time together as possible before you leave to go visit some cousins for a few weeks.
"I'm really gonna miss you, yanno..." You hear Zayn mumble above you and feel his arm tighten around you. Taking his free hand into yours, you start to gently massage over every inch of his hand as you think about not seeing Zayn for a while.
"Zayn, just don't talk about it, okay?" you ask him softly, not looking at him. The room stays silent for a few minutes except for Zayn's steady breathing beside you.
You bit the insides of your lips in frustration and sadness because not only are you going away, but there has been a new announcement that the boys would be going on a new tour and that means Zayn wouldn't be back until at least two months later after you come back home. Only one day would pass after you come back until Zayn leaves for tour with the rest of the band. You know that the last tour was over half a year ago but it seemed like the time has flown by too quickly. Zayn felt this way too.
"Don't leave me," Zayn says and keeps hold of your hand as you get up off the couch. You turn your head only to see his pouting face that resembled a lost puppy, staring into yours.
"I'm only getting some Nutella and strawberries," you giggle softly.
"Well then I'll come with you," Zayn grins as he stands up.
The whole way to the kitchen, Zayn keeps his hand locked in yours and rubs it just the way he knows you like it.
"Hey, lemme get that," Zayn insists as he grabs the Nutella jar of goodness off the shelf that was too high for your reach.
"Thanks," you say sending a smile to Zayn as he places the jar on the counter next to the red and juicy looking fruits.
"Anything for you," he chuckles, touching the top of your nose with his pointer finger.
The rest of the afternoon and evening, Zayn follows you around, always holding your hand, being directly next to you, or at least trying to stay in sight. After a while, you begin to feel a little overwhelmed.
"I have to go to the bathroom," you say, sending Zayn a fake-ish smile to Zayn, behind you. As you close the door, you breath a sigh of relief but a small sob escapes your lips. You loved Zayn, you really did, with all your heart, but you just didn't like it when he got this close to you all the time. You don't know why you were feeling this way about it though, because you loved his presence more than anything. Maybe you're just overreacting, sad, and anxious, about not being able to see him for a long while, you ponder, bringing the wrist part of your hands up to your eyes to try and stop your tears. Rummiging through your hair, you lean back and look up at the ceiling as sobs escape your lips.
After a little bit of work in trying to clean your face from the redness, you leave the bathroom. Not seeing Zayn, you walk around trying to find him, wondering where he could be. As you walk back into the room with the couch, you notice a figure hunched over on the far end of the furniture. It's Zayn, bending over with his head buried into his hands.
"Zayn, omygosh, are you okay?" You rush to him and place your left hand on his back when you hear sobs coming from his shaking body. "Hey, talk to me..." you whisper softly as you kneel in front of him.
Zayn doesn't speak but buries his face tighter into his arms when he feels your presence in front of him.
"I'm annoying you... Aren't I?" Zayn cries through his shaking hands. Guilt engulfs your body when you hear him mumble this to you because you indeed had felt annoyed just a little.
"Well..." You hesitate, trying to phrase a sentence.
"I am, aren't I?" Zayn interrupts as he opens his hands to reveal his beet red face, wet with tears.
You have never seen him so sorrowful and like this before, you don't know what to do. "Hey, Zayn, it's okay..." You reassure him, looking into his bloodshot eyes as you place both hands on his shoulders.
"No, no... It's not," he whimpers shutting his eyes then opening them again. "I just want to have life be normal for us and to not worry about these things, I feel so guilty sometimes, and I'm always away, I don't know how you deal with me," He blurts out all at once, looking away.
A short silence falls after your boyfriend finally spoke what he had been feeling for probably who knows how long. Pain hits your chest after realizing how much he tries for the both of you.
"Zayn? I want you to look at me," you say turning his face towards yours. "It's not your fault... I am quite happy for you and the rest of the boys that you get to do what you love to do. It's your job. You should be happy... Yeah, we may not get to see each other for a while, but that's what makes us stronger. Because we both know that we love each other and made promises to work through whatever comes. This is part of what we must sacrifice for our relationship together. You promised and reminded me of that, remember? Now it's my turn to do it for you. It's okay, Zayn, it really is. I know that we both aren't happy in the regard that we won't be always around each other, but I'd rather have this than be with a guy not as good and amazing as you."
Tears brim your eyes as you finish your speech and this time, Zayn takes you and pulls you close to him with his strong arms as he settles back against the couch.
"Thank you so much," Zayn whispers to you as he kisses your forehead.
"What for?" You ask.
"For putting up with me... And my job. And for making me feel calm. We both have busy schedules... Me especially," Zayn says as he leans his head on yours. "Thank you for understanding because I know that this is really hard for not only me, but for you as well."
"It's because I love you," you smile as you lean on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.
Zayn chuckles softly as he responds, "I love you, too."
