Assassins creed - Understanding

Chapter 12 - Stab In The Back

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‘Well.’ Came a familiar voice. I detached myself from Sandro and spun to face another person. He leaned over a wall, with a faint cut over his face. Other than that, he seemed unharmed. Duccio, here was, alive. I almost smiled, but he started to speak again.

‘I see you have already met my birth brother. Hello, Sandro.’

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I laugh. I laugh until there is no air in my lungs. I take another breath. I laugh again. My laughter turns to gasps, which turn to sobs, which turn to tears. I am crying, and I do not know the reason why. 

My body shakes, and I am numb, even though my bloody wounds sting. I don’t know who catches me when I pass out. It might have been Duccio, it might have been Sandro. I didn’t care at that moment.

When I wake, it is night. I feel a bandage around my leg and a sling around my arm. I wince as I try to get up.  Swinging my legs over the side, I try to walk. The bandage over my leg is tight enough so I only feel a dull pain. I wondered what time it was, what day it was. My head pounded and I could still smell the burning flesh. How many days after the attack had it been?
The air in the room was too compressed, too tight. I needed to get out.

I tried the door. It was locked. Who else would lock me in other than Duccio?

I walked to the window and pushed. It snapped and came off its hinges, it must have been locked too. I hoped nobody heard anything. Cold air slapped against my face, circling around my cheeks and eyelashes. No mask. I didn’t mind. I didn’t plan to see anybody.

Or did I?

I carefully, slowly pulled myself out the window with one hand. I cringed when my other arm hit against the window pane. There was a haystack under the window, perfectly placed for landing. I didn’t think Duccio would be so blind to not see that, but who was I to complain. I wanted to leave this building, just to leave, even for a moment.

I had to plan this carefully, as not to land pain in my arm and leg. I take in a breath, feeling my hair swirl around my face. Then I jumped.

I landed on my right arm, but I still felt pain in my left. My leg seemed okay.

I didn’t even know who was alive or dead. I didn’t know if Rodero made it, or Petricco, or Gustav. For some reason, I did not want to know. Because there was only one answer that I wanted and I wanted them to be okay. The other answer was simply unthinkable.

I walked. I walked out past the courtyard, where me and Duccio used to train. We should begin training again soon, anyway. I wanted past the horses. I walked through the gates. And then I ran, because running is the thing I am best at. Running from my feelings, my emotions. My fear, my sadness, my aloneness.

I jumped roofs, just like I used to. I ran on top roofs, ignoring the pain in my arm and leg, because they did not matter. If I kept running, I could escape all of it, all of this pain.

I ended up on a roof where I could see clearly the moon.I sat on the edge of the building. I realized, this was where I met Sandro, not for the first time. I remember thinking about how I was marveling at the moon, glorifying it’s beauty-

‘The moon will disappear if you keep looking at it like that.’

This time, I did not even jump. For a reason, I did expect him to be here. It was the same thing Sandro said to me, the first time here. I remember it. But even though I wanted to remember, I could not get rid of the anger in me. The anger that Sandro never told me about his brother. And that Duccio never knew I knew Sandro.