p o r k s o d a ▷▷ t.j

ⓟⓘⓛⓛⓢ

alessia felt guilty for lying. she did tell the truth about charlie's problem. she just didn't tell her the truth about why she really couldn't leave him.

alessia had no other friends. they had all left long ago. they knew about it. they swore not to tell, but left with the secret that could kill alessia. it was too much for them to handle.

alessia was left with her thoughts of what she did. she knew it was wrong. she cried almost every night.

charlie lies on the couch, a bottle of jack daniel's on the coffee table.

"hey," alessia almost whispers, setting the walgreens bag on the table.

"is this the-"

"yes," alessia interrupts, not being able to bare the name. this is what she has done. this is what her actions caused for her and charlie.

"don't fucking interrupt me," charlie spits.

"i'm sorry, i just really don't like hearing it. it makes me feel-"

"fucked? wretched? devilish?"

alessia knows the tears will soon slide down, the water park would open and all the water will be unleashed.

"you did it. you know that? you did it," charlie says, his voice raising.

"charlie," alessia cries, "i'm sorry i-i didn't mean to-"

⚠️

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

⚠️

"you did it! all because you were hiding the way you felt! the things you did!" charlie screams, taking alessia's arm and pulling the sleeve of her sweatshirt down.

"you fucking idiot! people who do this are insane maniacs who need help! all this for  no reason! did you just think it was edgy and needed a ticket to finding friends, huh? you were so caught up doing this, that you let the words that you felt get to him!"

alessia freezes, looking down at the skin that she had corrupted. the skin that she had hid from society. the skin that was ripped just like her jeans.

"i-" alessia cannot speak. she finds a fault in her box. her throat swells up and a sob escapes. not one, but two, then three, then four.

charlie takes her arm and turns her around, earning a yelp of pain from alessia.

"get the fuck out," charlie demands.

"ch-charlie-"

"get the fuck out of my house alessia!"

and with that she does. the same car ride. the same reason. the same fault. but these weren't the same tears. they were worse. they burned her cheeks. her eyes were volcanoes that erupted with hot, steaming lava.

how could he say those things? how could he let her shatter to pieces when she tried to fix him brick by brick?

alessia was broken

and sometimes, when people feel broken,
they drink their problems away.

~

Don't worry loves, Tyler will be here soon.