The Art of Being Happy

What exactly is 'happiness'?

Happiness is exactly this:

> the state of being happy.

But if happy differs for everyone, what exactly is being 'happy'?

Being happy does not mean feeling good all the time and it does not mean being content with everything. This is because forcing ourselves to feel good about everything actually lowers our chances of feeling good, as weird as it sounds. When we focus too much on trying to be happy, we lose ourselves in meaningless thoughts and prevent our brains from actually feeling happy. 

Happiness varies for everyone. For me, it can mean a big batch of freshly made slime. For Kylie Jenner, it can mean having her lip kits sell out 5 minutes after she releases a new color. For you, it can mean acing all your subjects or on the contrary, not failing any. 

As much as we think that money can get everything, and that if we have money, we'll be satisfied, happiness actually has nothing to do with being rich, or being privileged. You see, our brains adapt quickly. Although we might get excited about the occasional pay raise, soon we'll just be wanting another paycheck (not to mention a higher one), having already spent the crap out of the last one. 

Things can only make a person feel happy for so long. The next thing you know, you're already bored of the new Ferrari you just bought having owned it for a week. 

Adding unto that, happiness is never a destination. Truthfully: when we are happy, it just never lasts. The human mind exists to set expectations. And in general, it just takes a lot of effort to maintain happiness. Once we exceed the expectations we have set for ourselves, we aim higher. Our contentment will never be content enough. And as the events in our life fluctuate, we can see that our happiness fluctuates too. You can go from feeling like you're on top of the world to being on the brink of killing yourself in as fast as 3 minutes, as brutal as that sounds (trust me, I've been there). 

So, the answer to the question up there is this:

There is no right way to define happiness. Although, a lot of being happy has to do with yourself. It depends on how YOU see the world around you, and how YOU see yourself. If you are a naturally positive person, it makes sense that maintaining happiness is way easier for you. However, if you are a negative person like me, and you're a pessimist about everything, it is incredibly difficult to even consider happiness. 

A quote to live by: "You are your biggest critic."

And it is true! Our eyes deem ourselves as flawful beings. When you think you might be improving, your mind tells you that there's nothing you should actually be remotely proud of. Some of us just have to tone down on the criticism. Because guess what? Even the most perfect person in the world has their insecurities.

To help with self-acceptance: take some time alone. Just look at yourself, and think about all the things you've done. Sure, you've sinned. Everyone sins. But picture all the good things about you. Think of all your favorite features about yourself. Once in a while, it's good to think of how smart you actually are, or how incredibly attractive you look. Shutting yourself out from other people's negativity can really help boost your self-acceptance. 

You're not a disappointment. Maybe your grades aren't the best, but there are other things you're good at too. You can't define yourself with numbers. All of these things are true, and only you can make yourself believe that. 

And with that, I leave you. Because truly, self-acceptance is the first step you can take towards achieving happiness.