Catch my Breath

Chapter Four~ Poetry & Reasons

When I got home that evening I positioned myself in the position of complete and total nerding out. I put on tight sweat pants, the shirt that I stole from Hunter, and my hair in a messy bun.

Also, my big rimmed glasses. I just so happen to be studying since I am grounded-- even though I want to be helping Hunter right now. It's not that bad, sometimes I obey George to make him remember he has power over me even though he doesn't.
He's an easy push over, but, he will be a great dad some day.
I just hope his kids are birthed by Emily, what a tragedy.

George has had to give up a lot when mom died. He gave up his youth to care for me he got a full time job and stopped school for a while and restarted on his nineteenth birthday of this year.
He should already be in college but I know he won't.
As I date my paper September 2nd I realize how fastly approaching my mom's death date is and I frown.

I don't like September. I never liked it because of the outrageous coldness of it, that and, it's the month of my mother's death.
When she was diagnosed with cancer I was fourteen, they had only given her months to live but she died three years later.
She lost a lot, she lost her hair, her ability to be her, to be independent. Everything.

Mom still traveled though, except she had a personal doctor with her travelling everywhere. The only place my mother let me go with her was Paris.
It's when she told me she was sure she was dying, that she could feel it and that it was coming. I remember being so outrageously mad, I remember the tears of pain and anger I shed and I remember screaming at her.

I wished I wouldn't have; we got home and a week later she died laying in bed watching Spongebob. Slowly, I close my geometry book laying my stuff to the side. I press my legs against my chest as a tear falls down my face, and another, and another.

I couldn't stop crying,
"Paige?" I hear a soft knock on my door and I look to see George, I jump off my bed and run into his arms. Sobbing helplessly,
When you lose your mother....you secretly lose yourself.

***

"Are...you ok? George called me and said you needed some comfort," I frown biting my lip looking at my best friend who stands in my doorway soaking wet due to the rain.
I try to hold back the laughter but it bubbles up and just freaking explodes.

She huffs in annoyance, "Stop it! I hate you! I ran all the way here in the pouring rain just to see if you're ok and you freaking laugh at my soaked state!" I giggle wildly falling down beating the floor with my fists just as my stomach starts to hurt I hear her and my brother talk.
"I swear, she was crying ten minutes ago..." He declares, she rolls her eyes. "I've never seen her cry before, what makes you think she's crying now? But, I can give her something to cry about if you want," I gasp at her ludicrous statement. She seems annoyed by my actions but the thing is; I'm not the crying type. If I cry it's because I've been laughing so hard but I usually typically don't cry.

I don't know why but mom always said, 'If they see your tears you're obviously not happy' I always want to be happy.
Her statement probably doesn't make any sense to you, but means the world to me.
It's the reason why.
"I'm truly hurt!" I shout sarcastically stomping upstairs, ouch, my stomach still hurts.

I may actually die. I laugh to myself sitting on my bed, totally ignoring the surroundings in my room and sit down on my bed.
"What are you laughing at?" I shoot up from my bed and see Hunter sitting at my desk. "Hunter! What are you doing here? you weird stalker!" I hiss walking over to him, he laughs. "I knew you stole my shirt," I look down and blush.
"Well...is that why you're here?" I ask dismissively, he shakes his head. "No. Not really." I raise an eyebrow.

"Why are you here then?" He smiles softly. "I wanted to see you," I blush more, you see why I'll never be able to date? Exactly why. "Why?" He shrugs standing up from the chair slowly.
"Because I could. And I followed you home and hid in the bushes." I let out a soft giggle and he smiles.

"What a cute laugh you have," He murmurs, "Anyway, I've came to steal you away." He changes the topic swiftly, I snort. "Steal me? Am I a possession or something?" He presses his lips together,
"I wouldn't ask stupid questions that could provoke me to kidnap you," His answer is witty and causes me to laugh.

"So, where's Georgy-boy?" He says glancing past my door, I shrug. "Probably talking to Danny." He nods and suddenly he scoops me up in his arms and jumps out of my window with me in tow. I scream when we hit the ground, I prepare for the worst but everything turns out fine. He lands on both feet.

"Hunter! I'm going to get in trouble!" I hiss, he chuckles. "I know. You have a problem with it?" Do I? I mean, no not really but I promised George I wouldn't do anything too stupid anymore.
I do some stupid crap sometimes, "Yes, well, no, sorta." I groan, he laughs as I look down at his heels.
"Remember how you said you didn't have a purpose yet and that you wanted to find one?" Ok. This dude is crazy.
"I remember the first one but not the second. Why?" He puts me down and stands over me making me feel puny.

"I'm going to help you find your purpose. No matter how long it takes..." My breath catches in my throat and he takes my hand pulling me through the woods.
"Hunter! Where are we going!?" My heart is beating fastly and everything seems to be moving in slow motion.
I can't seem to catch my breath, "Into the woods Paige!"