Secrets In Silence ✓ [Secrets Book 1]

[Chapter Thirty-Six] Liam

              When the night falls on you
                              You don't know what to do
             Nothin' you confess, could make me love you less

                     I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
                                    Won't let nobody hurt you
                               I'll stand by you

                                         I'll Stand By You. Pretenders

Chapter Thirty-Six – Liam

Not spending time with Addie sucked, I saw her to eat sometimes, and about half an hour before we fel asleep and then I was up in the morning. I knew that I could probably have put this whole thing off until after she left, it's not like it would do any harm, but I was also trying to give her space to spend with her actual family.

Granted Liam was out most the time, and didn't see her much, but she could use some girl bonding time, they even took Kaylis out and she came back in such a good mood with pink nails and toes. It was sweet of her to think of Kaylis too.

I had been with my dad all day finalizing the floor plan for the house, making some tweaks in it when needed, and then making a more detailed drawing so we could pick things out piece by piece.

The construction people would do whatever with woods, but we needed to pick flooring for the house, we're doing exposed beams, the material for the counters and stuff for the kitchen, the material for the bathrooms, windows, and we were planning down to where we wanted electrical outlets in some rooms.

We chose to keep things light with hardwood flooring; it's a lot easier to clean than carpets. My master bath has a soaking tub and a shower. The kitchen will have an island and the dark wood we picked out will contrast with the light flooring and the greenish counters.

We were having book shelves built onto the walls in my room and a pushed out window with a seat, leaving a guest room and an office for the other two.

My dad let me be completely involved in these plans because not only was it going to be my house, but this is what I love to do. I love designing the floor plans and picking things that will go together. I'll have the hardwood throughout all the common areas, but where the rooms began there would be an interruption in the flow.

It was a painfully slow process. We had to make a lot of stops into town to talk to the people, they were starting on the foundation and we needed to get on things to order so they would be here in time to really get this house done as soon as possible.

We weren't rich, we didn't have millions of dollars but my family did do well for itself, enough that this was a big deal to build but not a huge one.

I loved the idea of the wrap around deck and I was going to plant some herbs over here. We had a lot of area of fruits and vegetables around, but I wanted a few things that were just mine. I would have my herbs and maybe a few trees, an apple and lemon maybe. I haven't decided I just know that I want something like that.

It would be weird living in this house all alone though.

At home, I have my parents and sister. Kaylis likes to come into my room and curl up with me sometimes and for the past couple months, I've spent every night with Addie. I haven't slept alone in a while and the time I had to it was just weird not having her.

I loved sleeping with her, I loved feeling her in my arms and having her next to me. I loved the way she curled up into me more in her sleep and how she mumbles. She gets a little smile on her face which leads me to believe that she doesn't have nightmares every night. I don't know if it's creepy or normal that I know all of these things.

It was nice spending some more time with my family though. It was stressful because the plans, but other than that we seemed to be at an agreement on things.

We all knew this was the best thing for me, for our relationship and for our sanity. It seemed like they realized that they were treating me like a child and they were letting up. This house was a sign of trust from them, and it meant a lot to me that they would do this for me.

This summer has brought a lot of changes for my life. I met Addison and I got to help her, I fell in love and I've grown up. She's made me see more of the world without actually leaving home. I saw how things were away from here and how different other people are.

This summer has been a good one for me, I know it probably won't end that way, but I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

The more we planned this, the more it made me want to do more of it; I had my degree and was thinking about trying to get a job in this field. I knew I needed to help out still and I would all that I could, but this summer has taught me I need to start living my life too and follow what I wanted to do with life.

Just because my dad wanted to do this, doesn't mean that I have to.

I finished all the things needed for this week and now all that was left was to wait and watch everything come together, sure I needed to do other things as well, but I don't have to live and breathe this anymore.

I came into Addie's room and changed and then climbed into bed with her.

"Hey." She said and I kissed her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her

"Hey, sorry it took me so long."

"It's fine." She yawned.

"Do you want to do something with me tomorrow?" I asked her, I missed spending more time with her.

"Of course. You aren't busy?" she asked me

"Nope, we're all done for now, and I want to spend the day with you, how about going swimming again."

"Perfect. I miss swimming. We've done shopping and girl things, I cooked and spent time with them, but I haven't gotten the chance to go swimming."

"Yeah" I said as I played with her fingers "I saw Kaylis' bright pink nails. Thanks for that, she had a lot of fun."

"It was a great time, and also really funny to watch them paint the little girl's toes."

"I bet. I've missed you." she turned in my arms and kissed me

"I missed you too." I leaned back and kissed her again and pulled her on top of me as she responded. Usually I come back and we fall right to sleep, I was glad it wasn't like that tonight.

The taste of her was driving me insane. I rolled us and moved my lips down her neck and when I got to the sensitive part of her neck I grazed my lips over it and kissed her again and kept it just at that until we had to come up to breathe.

"I love kissing you." she whispered as soon as we parted and it took so much in me not to tell her that I loved kissing her too, but more importantly I loved her.

The last week I've gotten more comfortable with that fact, I knew she may not be able to reciprocate those feelings, but I couldn't help it.

"I love being with you." I settled for that.

"Me too." she sighed and I moved so she could curl up with me again. I didn't know what to say, because right now wasn't the right time to talk to her about staying, she was lost in her thoughts right now and that's where she needed to be.

"Goodnight sweetheart." I kissed her forehead

"Night babe." She said back. At this point I wanted to bash my head against the wall in confusion and irritation and stupidity.

I was confused on what this was and how she felt, I was irritated because I just wanted to know what the hell was going on and stupid because I loved her and she was leaving. She was leaving and this whole thing was probably a bad idea, and I didn't know what to do about it.