Mr Ghastly's Book of Little Nightmares

The Frightfully Unlucky Vampire

Silhouetted on a hill far away and alone,

Was a dark, pointy, castle made of old brick and stone.

In the cold depths within, hidden safe in his bed,

Was a vision of horror; the real living dead.

But let's not be harsh, judgemental, or hasty,

Yes, his fangs are quite sharp, and his skin rather pasty,

But Boris the Vampire was far from alarming,

At times he was witty, and terribly charming.

Yet, Boris isn't known for being fun, good, and plucky,

He's been branded as the Vampire who is frightfully unlucky.

As I'm sure you're aware (it is seldom kept quiet)

Of a Vampire's nature, and its usual diet.

Boris drinks blood; it's all he'd ever eat,

If he wasn't so clumsy with his two-left-feet.

Occasionally he settles for spiders and nettles,

Or reluctantly chews on old flower petals.

But nothing can quench the un-yielding thirst,

Of a creature like Boris, who is irrevocably cursed.

So now and again he sets off to the village,

In search of stray wanderer's he can creep up on and pillage.

On a dark foggy night along an old London lane,

Boris was in search of some food, once again.

He lurked in the shadows all eerie and silent,

Expecting the feed to be bloody and violent.

His vampire lips quivered hungry and sparse,

As a stray late night wanderer began to creep past.

His long fingers trembled, his pointy toes creaked,

The opportunity was upon him, the moment had peaked!

He took one step forward like a hungry old spider,

To stalk the poor stranger and creep up beside her.

But his cape dragged beside him and snagged at his feet,

And he tripped and fell flat on the cold cobbled street.

The thud of the fall sent alarm bells ahead,

In her tracks the would-be victim stopped dead.

She spun on her heel, wide-eyed and alarmed,

To find poor pale Boris dishevelled and unarmed.

But Boris was quite ready, or so he had thought,

He leapt up to attack, but his eye had been caught.

The woman was a wonder, so stunning and bold,

Her wide-eyes and red lips a beauty to behold.

His hunger forgotten, Boris blushed bright pink,

(Which is fairly unusual for the undead, you'd think.)

The woman grinned kindly at Boris's charm,

She knew that tonight she was quite safe from harm.

Then out of the blue, much to Boris's delight,

He noticed something gleaming against the moonlight.

Two fangs glistened brightly in the kind ladies grin,

She was a vampire, very much like him!

The pair, hand-in-hand, went on hunting 'til late,

Looking for a meal to suffice their first date.

So through the streets the two lovers did wend,

And Boris wasn't all that unlucky in the end.