Begin a Lie

The beginning

He looked regal that winter day when he first came to the town. That is the word, the only word to describe his beauty. Brown hair covering a pair of beautiful cocoa eyes, adorable bunny teeth, refined cheekbones, and that smile...I know that I'm not supposed to feel or even think this way. I know that if I ever did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But oh, this was different.
No one has ever made my head throb.
No one has ever made my heart flutter like it has wings.
No one has made my blood pulse and my knees weak like he does.
Jeon Jungkook.
It is like he was made to be my angel of death. Because he kills me every second, and I helplessly accept it.
I stand in the cold night, my feet half-buried in the thick snow. I wait and wait, knowing there is nothing more painful than what I'm probably feeling this very second.
It isn't the harsh storm or the pricking icicles of snowflakes stinging my numb skin that hurt me.
It's that he will never notice that a person called Park Jimin is madly, innocently, stupidly, crazily, one-sidedly in love with him.
I have never believed in love, but Jeon Jungkook has made me painfully accept that such a phenomenon exists, and for me, it will always be towards him. Forever.
Three hours after waiting in the unforgiving storm, I turn to head home, when he emerges from a distance.
My cheeks burn, not due to the icy flakes, but because of how flushed I am when his face comes into view.
As he approaches me, I mentally prepare my introduction, and as he is two steps away from me, I open my mouth to say something, anything.
But all that comes is a shaky breath as he walks past me, like I was invisible to his beautiful hazel eyes, like I was a snowflake floating with the harsh night, like I never existed.
And what he did is probably colder than how paralysingly freezes my legs are.
.....
It's just three words. I. Love. You.
Not that hard when I think about it.
But my tongue could never articulate those words.
Then what?
Am I just supposed to live with this pain? How would I know whether he likes me or not if I can't even talk to him?
It hurts. It hurts so much.
And he's my only cure, but unfortunately, also my pain.