Begin a Lie

The middle

I am determined he will talk to me this time. I have gathered every little scintilla of courage I can as I walk up to him in music class, where he is playing the piano in solitary peace.
'Hey, I'm Jimin.'
My voice is the softest it has ever been.
He smiles at me, and biting my lip is the only thing I can do to control the great wave of emotions sweeping over me. 'Hi, I'm Jungkook, Hyung.'
I fidget with my backpack as he returns to his piano, feeling my heart beat for the first time in forever.
'I was wondering whether you like lilies.' He looks up at me surprised and gives me a judgemental look.
'I'm not that sort of a guy, Hyung. So if you'll excuse me...'
His voice trails off as he walks away from me, causing me to break down right there, feeling like a pathetic little loser. I only asked him that because I saw him buying a bouquet of white lilies the other day...and he looked so happy smelling them.
I wipe my hot tears and recognise this horrendous pain in me-that of loving a person to an immeasurable extent and not getting that same love reciprocated back...
There is nothing more horrifying yet perfectly aesthetic like unrequited love, because it's mine and mine only....
.......
A year has passed. I have sent him countless number of bouquets, but no response have I gotten.
It's the worst torture ever...I can't live like this anymore...
We were friends for a few months, but he stopped talking to me when we became close.
I want to die...I want to scream to the world that I am in love with Jeon Jungkook, but nothing will help me now. He's never going to love me back, and I'll never get a reply for those lilies ever.
I thought he would break my heart, but honestly, he shattered it to pieces beyond recognition, so that there's just a hole where my heart must be.