My Lost Life (A Katy Perry Fanfic)

My Lost Life (A Katy Perry Fanfic) part 1

Im just a girl. A human that is. We all make mistakes. We're not all perfect. But that's ok right?

Im Madison Hudson. Im a fourteen year old girl. My biggest inspiration is Katy Perry. She teaches me to be myself. I love her a lot! I have a lot of insecurities. Like my weight, what I look like, how many friends I have, etc. Im just like everyone else. I feel empty and lost. Im lonely. I honestly don't see why a lot of people hate me. Sometimes the hatred will get to me. Sometimes it won't. I've thought about suicide before that was only once, a few months ago. But I've been clean for three weeks. I cut myself often, but don't worry Im fine. I was in school today, and two girls came up to me and said "nice outfit. Where'd you get it? The ugly store for losers?" It hurt a lot. I was wearing skinny jeans, a red tank top that said "I love rock n' roll" on it in black, and some gray ugg boots. It wasn't that ugly, well atleast that's what I thought. I don't have much confidence. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Thinking about the hate, the bullying, etc. I get a bunch of hate on my Twitter and Instagram account saying Im stupid,ugly,not worth it, Im a loser, and that I should die. That makes me cut myself because knowing that people want me to die really hurts. There is a lot of drama at my school, Im usually involved in it 99.9% of the time. I try to stop it but people think I cause it. When I apoligize they say they don't want to hear it. Im not here to please people, Im here to be me. Madison Alexis Hudson. Im sorry Im not perfect but that's the way life is. Life isn't always beautiful, but it's a trip well worth it. Katy Perry is a big influence on my life. People always make fun of me for being obsessed with her. They call me a lesbian sometimes. I tell them Im not obsessed, and that she's just my role model, but they ignore me. Yes, I have pictures of her in my bedroom. It's because when I look at her, I smile. I never smile. Except when I see Katy. I went to her California Dreams Tour in 2011! It was amazing! I got back stage passes and I got to meet her. It was the best day of my life! She was so sweet! She said she heard my story and knew what it was like being bullied and all. Finally, someone understood me. She listened to me. Nobody else does that. My family does but that's about it. Katy is a big part of me. She makes me who I am. She helps me get through tough times, even if she's not really there with me. That's why Im proud of being myself. Im proud of being me. Even if I cut myself, think about suicide, get bullied, cry myself to sleep, starve myself a lot, Im proud of who I am and nothings going to change that.