Seeds

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by grockle12

by grockle12

I get the convenience in just sending a short message, but when I'm sitting here ripping open these fresh wounds, pouring them out onto this computer. Those responses hurt more than any knife. they say

I get it

go away

leave me alone

I read

You are a nuisance

I Don't have time for you

You are the one thing in the way of my happiness.

Now, i know this isn't your intent but sitting here reading, I'm also sitting alone.

Alone with myself

Alone with the hell i hide behind a smile and two brick walls

Alone with the voice in my head forcing me to read everything wrong.

The voices that whisper thoughts filled with doubt and without reason every time i see your face,

For what is done can never truly be undone.

Where you plant seeds, there will always be small pieces of root in the ground.

These same voices filling me with false hope at every fleeting glance into those deep brown eyes,

they now shout at me, ringing out in my fathers voice, blending with every possible pitch,

ThiS Is wHy sHE DoeSn'T CaRe fOr YoU!

ShE WiLl NeVeR LovE You!

LeAvE Her AlOnE You DisGracE!

And so the voice rings out for hours in my head. I am never free of it.

Sure I can put false hope into myself at this divorce, but, as I said before,

Where seeds have been planted, they can never be fully removed.