Demons (An AU Nathan Gardner Story)

Chapter 12 - I'll Protect Her

As daylight began to filter into her room from behind the blinds, Sydney stirred. Nathan's warm chest pressed to her back comforted her in a way she wished it wouldn't, but it was there just the same. She kissed the back of his hand, then he woke as well.

"Already?" he asked, his voice still coated with sleep.

"A stepping stone to something better," Sydney confessed, unable to stop her words.

"I'm sorry?" Nathan asked, trying to reposition himself. He wanted to see Sydney's face, but she wasn't giving him the leverage he was after. He then understood, put his arms back around her, and let her continue to face away from him.

"That's what David said I was. I'm fine for a while...for practice, but then I get stale and predictable and it's easy to move on to someone else." Her voice shook. "He said I whore myself to keep a man once I have him, but it's not sufficient. I'm not interesting enough outside the bedroom."

"Sydney, no." Nathan fought her body a little now, sitting up and kissing her bare shoulder. "He's full of shit..."

She shook her head. "Aside from Arlen, every relationship I've been in ended badly. Either by cheating or..." He felt her tremble. "I'm sorry, I..."

"Don't be sorry." He turned her body towards his. "You let him get to you all week." It wasn't a question, but a firm statement. "Fuck him, er, well...you know what I mean."

"But he's right."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I can't keep anyone..."

"But you didn't want to keep David, did you? The addiction, the temper...Sydney you are an amazing woman who deserves..."

She pulled away. "Nathan, don't. I shouldn't have said anything..."

He pulled her back to him. "You're an..." She tried to move and he let her, but she didn't go far.

"I'm a what?" she asked, curious.

He caressed her face. "Amazing woman," he said, his voice sure. "And as for whoring yourself, Syd, you need to let his words go, they're poison."

"Are they? What am I doing with you?" A tear fell from her eye.

"Enjoying yourself, I hope." He moved her hair and began to massage her neck. Her body relaxed, just enough that Nathan could feel it. "What can I do for you?"

Sydney shook her head again, wishing that she had kept her mouth shut. "I don't know." She turned to face him. "Nathan, I don't have a clue what we're doing." Her lower lip trembled. "I'm more of a wreck now than I was all week."

"And what if, right now, you were alone, hm? All those poisonous thoughts in your head with no one to talk to about any of it?"

"We said no strings and right now I feel like I'm wrapping steel cables around..."

He stopped her. "We said we're friends, remember? I brought my problems to you, you've shared yours with me...and we mutually enjoy physical release. Syd, if you want to change your mind about any of it, all you have to do is say something."

She ignored his words. "How about breakfast and we get some work done?"

Two hours later Nathan and Sydney sat at the kitchen table, books and notes spread out around them. Earlier, Nathan made scrambled eggs while Sydney took a shower and the remnants were on a couple of plates on the counter. Neither of them were startled when they heard the front door open.

"Do we have to do the STD video though? That thing scarred me when I was in high school."

Nathan laughed. "Then it did its job, didn't it?"