Brendon's POV:
I glared at the sky, hating the world with an all-consuming rage. I knew I shouldn't have run away. Something inside of me just screamed to go as far as possible. At least until the anger faded.
I couldn't take it anymore without him. It felt like a piece of me was missing, like someone ripped out the most important piece of my heart. The part that needed him most.
That was the one reason fuel continued to be added into the fire. That burning passion in my chest wasn't from running those few blocks but from the disbelief I felt over and over again. I should've told him how I felt.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lit it and breathed in deeply. I knew this would damage my lungs, but now, I didn't care. Not even the slightest.
Why should I care? It's not like anyone would miss me if I were to go. Maybe Ryan, but doubtful. Not after what happened. He hasn't talked to me for almost a week.
I know.
I've been counting.
I breathe in a last drag and put out the cigarette, crushing it with the toe of my shoe. I pull my phone out and scroll through the contacts. I find Ryan's name and click on it.
On the screen the options are:
- Delete - Text - Call
Sliding my thumb over the for probably the millionth time, I click 'Call' and wait.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
With a sigh of relief he picks up on the fourth rings and I stutter my way into rambling to how I miss him, how I made a mistake. How I should've told him the truth when I had the chance. I didn't care if my family thought it was a sin. I didn't care if they thought I was a fag. All that mattered was him.
He's been silent the whole time.
"Ryan?"
"I-I don't know what to say..."
"Please, I'm sorry, I need you. I've always needed you," I didn't know what I had until I lost it. "I should have told you when I had the chance."
"Brendon-"
"No," I interupt him, only wanting him to hear me speak,"I wanted you to forgive me for treating you like shit and that's not okay. I don't want you to think it's okay, because it's not. I wouldn't want anybody to ever treat you that way. Not even me. No. Especially not me. I should have treated you better, I should have treated you like you were the only person in the world. But of course, like the ass I am, I had to throw it all away, throw the most important, perfect person in my life away. No one can make me feel the way you do when I'm around you. You're the reason I wake up. Every morning I get up and tell myself that maybe this could be the day, the day that I finally tell Ryan Ross that I am absolutely in love with him."
The words leave my mouth before my thoughts.
I love him. I am in love with Ryan Ross.
The line ends and three beeps come through.
He hung up.
My vison blurs and I feel the warm tears trickle down my face, the salt tasting water dropping onto my tastebuds. Looking at my surroundings I find a lake.
There's no point anymore.
No point in living.
I don't deserve to live.
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Alright, so if you guys want me to continue this I guess comment? I have another idea for another ryden story so whatever you guys want me to do just let me know :) - Daniella
