Hello Again, Sir {s/t - complete}

What About Now?: 21.

                I hadn’t been able to sleep all night. Every time I tried to close my eyes and let sleep wash away my problems, wash away my fears, my eyes would snap back open. I had no idea who had sent the text and when I realised I couldn’t let my mom see it, I’d called the number back and ushered her into the dining room. But no one had answered. And when I’d tried again after getting home, the phone was switched off. Now, as I drove into the school, I was absolutely petrified.

                “Alex, are you okay?”

                “I’m fine.”

                I pulled into the student parking lot and cut the engine before turning around to face Kodie quickly. I winced when I felt my neck crick and rubbed the spot. Kodie was looking at me with a sharp frown on her face and her lips down casted. No doubt she’d been kept away by my pacing up and down the stairs, but I hadn’t explained to her what was wrong. I hadn’t said what I thought was wrong. I hadn’t told her I’d gotten the text. After all, she didn’t know Hanna was… well, Hanna, from college. She assumed Hanna was just someone I was in love with. Not that they were acquaintances. But I still felt guilty for not telling her what was wrong. I tapped my hand on my leg anxiously as I looked at the girl. Her green eyes darted around my face with concern.

                “Mr—”

                “I’m sorry, Kodie. I can’t explain what’s wrong but something’s going on. It’s nothing to do with you, don’t worry! But I’m afraid I’ll have to drop you off here.”

                “Should I try and get you to tell me, or are you set on not letting me know?” she asked, and I remembered how at first she was persistent to know about Hanna when she first found out I had an on-off girlfriend. Even though, at the moment, things were defiantly off.

                 “I can’t tell you.”

                She looked hurt and her face relaxed from the frown into a sad emotion. I felt a twang of guilt. “Ok.”

                “I’m sorry, Kodie.” I said quickly. “I am. But I can’t. All I’ll say is, you need to abide by my wishes and let me figure this out.”

                Kodie studies me closely, but says no more of the matter. She heaves a heavy sigh before grabbing her belongings. “You don’t have to tell me anyway,” she said. “It’s not my business to know.”

                “Kodie, I—”

                She must have figured out the sadness in my voice. “I’m not mad. Don’t worry. I’ll see you after college, okay?”

                I shrugged my shoulders and started the engine again. “Sure.”

                Then I waited for her to drive off before I continued the short route to the teachers’ car park. But I didn’t see anyone there. Everyone was already inside and about to start their lessons but by the time it had taken me to get Kodie out of the car and to park it, I had just the nick of time to get in. 

                It was fine, though, because as I brushed into the classroom, just before I’d be about to be late, I realised I didn’t have a class first thing this morning. But this made me groan. Now I had nothing to do but sit in here quietly, whilst my thoughts took over.

                I felt almost sick. I knew that I didn’t want to think about things because that meant thinking about who knew. And someone knew. I’d soon have to face their consequences; I just had to wait for the signal that Chester Montgomery had been told.

                Something between a sigh and sob of exasperation leaves my lips and my head falls down on my desk, hitting it a couple of times before I sat up. I needed to think about this rationally, and not just wallow.
                I just have no idea who knows but soon find myself fumbling in my pocket again for my mobile phone. Whoever it was had to put their phone back on now, surely.

                Ring… ring… ring… “Hello, you have reached Orange answerph—”

                I groaned in frustration as I put the phone down again. So whoever they were, they had their phone on again, but they didn’t answer it. I had debated texting the number last night but then thought against it. What good would that do? I bet they probably wouldn’t even reply back.

                Suddenly three raps on the door pulled me from slumping my chin against my hand and I turned to the door to see Ted, staring back at me through the gap of glass in the door. I close my eyes for a second and compose myself before waving my hand, letting him in. When he walks in and leans against the front, middle desk, I smile.

                “Hello, Ted.” I said, trying to seem normal, or at least, untroubled.

                “Alex.” He looked quite tired himself, and a wondered if things were okay at home. After his wife’s niece died, I hadn’t asked him how things had been going. If things were okay.

                “I thought you had a class first?”

                He shrugged. “I was meant to, but it’s something about examinations meeting for the kids to get their heads around for their January exams. I don’t know, they have it all the time, but we never get explained about it. I think it’s just the transformation from GCSE or A-LEVEL’s or something and the difference. How  they need to study hard.”

                I shook my head. It had only been a few years since I’d had a meeting like that myself. I understood. “A-Levels are much harder than some of them anticipate.”

                “Some things are definitely harder than we first anticipate.”

                I wondered if there was an underlying story in his words and curiously stared at him but came up short. I couldn’t think of a reason why Ted would have another story to add. It wasn’t a sarcastic comment? It wasn’t a hint that he thought I thought teaching was hard, was it? Was I reading into this too much because I had to read into last night’s text? How had they gotten hold of that information, anyway? I had to ask Hanna but I hadn’t asked her, yet. I’d debated it last night. I’d thought about what the consequences would be if I told her and decided I didn’t want to worry her.

                I raked a hand through my hair and sighed, and then realised Ted was still in the room.

                “Sorry, I was just thinking about my own meeting.” I lied. 

                “It’s alright,” he replied, smiling meekly. “It wasn’t long ago that you were in college yourself.”

                “Not really. Only a few years.” I then looked at Ted, he still looked young. “But then, you’re only seven years ahead of me.”

                “So I am.” He mocked, tapping on his chin. I don’t know if it’s because I was low on sleep, or because I had a lot playing on my mind, but something about Ted today seemed… different. He seemed on edge.

                “Ted, is everything okay?” I said wearily. My eyes never left his face, not even to observe my empty room or the view of students walking around campus from my window.

                “I thought, seen so you called me again this morning, it was time for a chat.”

                I frowned, confused, dazed. I turned my head to the side and tried to think. I had called Ted this morning? But when? I hadn’t dialled his number because I’d been late into work. I hadn’t even picked up the phone sitting on my desk let alone dialled the number for Ted – who was his room number. It was easier to remember things that way.

                I opened my mouth to say something but stopped before words left my tongue. He’d said time for a chat? Time for a chat with what? What did he possibly want to talk about, that I’d called him about, unless—

                “If you’re pondering over something, enlighten me and I’ll clear it up.”

                I looked back up at Ted, realising I’d been looking down at my desk, as if that was going to help at all.

                “I didn’t call you this morning, Ted. At least I don’t remember calling you…” I mumbled.

                “Of course you did. And last night. It went straight to answer phone, don’t you remember?”

                But I remembered all too well, as soon as he said that I’d called last night, I knew immediately that the unknown number that he contacted me yesterday had to be Ted, it had to be him that knew. Time for a chat… he wanted to talk this out.

                My palms began to feel sweaty, and I rubbed them on my trousers. Recognising far too well the same routine from last night and how I’d felt. All through dinner I was angst. I’d wish I hadn’t gotten the text. But last night, when I tried to sleep, I was at my rawest. I’d felt fear. 

                It was easy to realise that I was scared now. 

                Suddenly my mouth went dry but my legs stayed strong and didn’t wobble as I stood up abruptly. “Ted, listen—”

                “Save it.” He said suddenly, quietly… viciously. “You knew it was strict against the rules. You knew that when you walked into this college, it was a strong education. It was built for students to pass their exams excellently with the help of mentors, lecturers, educationally.”

                “I know—”

                “It said nothing about dating them!” he ripped out, but soon his eyes flickered to the door and re realised he had to lower his voice. He cleared his throat and I waited until he looked calm enough to let me speak.

                “I’m not dating Hanna Franz.”

                “You knew she was trouble. Less trouble than you’ve made, that’s for sure. You’ve probably messed up her head even more.”

                I felt anger ripple through me. I wasn’t scared anymore, at least that had subsided for the protective instinct. “Don’t talk about her that way.”

                “Ah, see, there is your true colours.”

                “Hanna is a student, and if you care about helping students, then you should have understood Hanna’s long time battle with depression. I bet even Julie came in and explained that in one of the meetings I only assume someone’s had with her about Hanna’s education. Don’t talk about her head being messed up. She’s intelligent.”

                “Oh, so you know her mother’s name? So she’s in on this.”

                I swallowed and shut my mouth tight as I breathed heavy in and out through my nose. I could get fired over this, but did I worry? Right now, was I worrying about losing my job? Not at all. I wished to defend Hanna, she’d done nothing wrong. We’d both done nothing wrong, we weren’t together. But if only one of us got out of this thing, it was going to be her. I could get another job, but she couldn’t get another education. If she did, well, it would set her back a couple of years. I wanted her to live her life.

                “You seemed to have misjudged—”

                “Misjudged what? Misjudged this? Well—” he stood up and took a single stride to get to my desk. He slammed a book down on my desk, causing me to jump just a little. I looked down, but didn’t move, at the Jane Eyre book.

                “Where did you get this?” I asked, flicking over the front cover to see my handwriting and my message to Hanna. Even without the book in front of me I’d remember it clearly.