A Call For Help

Try

The doctor prepped me for surgery and the whole time I couldn't help but think how terrible life for me had gotten in such a short amount of time.
After waking up from my surgery the doctor allowed me to see my baby. It broke my heart into pieces. Even though I'm in no position for a baby I would have loved to meet him. But god works in mysterious ways. It was most definitely the wrong time.
I stayed for another day then I was finally able to go home. Julissia came and got me from the hospital. I still can't believe god put such an amazing person in my life.
When I got to back to the house Andy was in the room Julissia was letting me stay in.
"Hey" I said in the most awkward way possible.
"Oh okay I guess you're not happy to see me?" He asked and I immediately felt bad.
It wasn't that I didn't want to see him, but this was the worst time to be around somebody I have a growing attraction to. I'm not at the best place in life. I've been kidnapped, tortured, and just found out I've been carrying a dead baby around. Not the best situation.
" No it's not that Andy...I just think that maybe  I'm not in the best place right now to be trying to form...Whatever it is we're trying to build."
  He looked at me for a moment and I couldn't really read his face.
" Really my dude? Whatever I'm gone."
I could tell he was upset but I would be bogus to let him into my messed up ass life. So it was only right.
Later that day I went into the living room where Julissia was.
"Heyyyyyy future daughter in-law!" She said
" Hey Julissia" I said sadly.
"What's wrong baby?"
I didn't want to tell her because I knew how much she wanted me and Andy together.
"I told Andy that I didn't think it was best to like each other in that way any more. I just don't think it's the best time for any of that... My life is fu...messed up, and I just don't want to put him in that predicament. I'm not good enough for him. But I don't think he wanted to hear that though, he got upset and left." I said as tears fell from my eyes.
"Listen, at a time like this, you need someone to love and care for you. This is when it counts the most. And I'm not just saying that because I want grand babies! I can see that he really cares for you and I can see that you haven't had anybody to care for you in a long time. I'm not saying jump in a relationship. I'm saying just see where things go."
I gave Julissia a hug and went back to my room to think about what she said. I broke down in tears because I never seem to do anything right. Why would I push him away like that? All he wanted to do is be there for me. What made it worse is that he barley knew me and genuinely cared about me. God I can be such and idiot sometimes.
I balled up in my cover and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up Andy was sitting at the edge of my bed.
"Listen..." I started to talk but he cut me off.
"Nah man I know what you said earlier an allat. But ion care. I'm gone be around you. I love being with you and I barely know you. It's crazy because I feel like a bitch but ion even care. Because I really care about you."
I couldn't believe he just poured his heart out like that to me.
"I was just going to say that I wanted to try whatever we had going and see where it goes. Earlier I was just talking out of emotion. But someone talked some sense into and even though I'm a little messed up I want to try and be with you." I said quietly.
He just stared at me and then out of no where he kissed me. An girrrrrrllllllll I mean tongued me down. I stopped him though I had just had surgery and couldn't keep kissing him because these thought were ungodly.
" My bad ma, I won't do anything you ain't comfortable with... you just so fuckin fine man."
He wasn't aware that I had just had surgery to remove a child and he wasn't aware of what exactly had happen to me before I got here and I wasn't ready to tell him yet either.
" Its fine. Can you just hold me."
And he did exactly that. Held me till I fell asleep. But when I woke up he wasn't there.