Sequel to Losing Hope
A new year, could it be a new life?
Andy, Gerard, Ashley, Frank, and James are starting a new life. Has the worst been left behind? Or will the new year hold an all new level of challenges for them? Follow them on their story...
Andy Pov //sorry for the wait, love you mushrooms ❤️❤️ 🍄//
I hear the bathroom door open and look up through tear blurred eyes. Franks voice is quiet and full of concern. "Andy, what happened?" I drop my eyes to the mess around me and hold out the razor to Frank. "Help me..." Frank slowly recovers from his stunned silence and takes it from my hand kneeling in front of me. "Oh andy, what did you do?" He reaches out gently running his hands over my hair, looking sadly at the jagged edges. My hair is strewn across the floor. I had grabbed a chunk of what would be a pony tail and hacked it off. "Fix it?" Its a question of it is is fixable mixed with his ability to fix it. He examines in for a moment and nods. "I think it will be good for you to have some change. Let's get this fixed up." He pulls out a brush and kneels behind me, brushing back my mop of hair. "Do you think changing things up like this might help you?" I go to nod then remember and speak up. "Something I control." "That's good to have control over even something little like this when you feel out of control. We've all been worried about you. It's nice to hear your voice." This time I simply nod. I feel the razor behind me. Slicing off chunks of my hair. I feel it getting shorter, lighter. Above my shoulders, closer to my ears. He brushes my hair out and tussles it with his hands. "Would you let me straighten your hair?" I used to do that before school, something that seems so long ago. How long has it been since I went to school? A year? More? Maybe I would have graduated now, I am turning 18 this month. I'll finally be able to live alone safely, with Ashley. "Yeah," I finally agree. He gets up rummaging around, finding and plugging in a straightener. He sits on the rim of the sink and looks down at where I sit. "So what happened?" He asks innocently. Still I feel myself get heated up at the question. "Ashley doesn't...trust me." The fact is that inside, I know he has no reason to trust me. I know frank is about to tell me that. I know I'm in the wrong. But... "Well that's just not fair to you." I look up confused. "What?" My voice comes out clearer than I expected, and clearly confused. "Well it's not like your a child that broke the rules Andy. You are sick. Depression isn't something you chose to have and you didn't have anywhere to turn. So maybe suicide seemed like the last choice." I flinch at the word of what I did. I hadn't quite come to terms with it. I rub gently at the stitches in my arms. "Andy now is the time you need people's trust the most, your healing and that's okay." He picks up the straightener and gently turns me around to face the wall. He combs through my much shorter hair straightening it out. "You know Andy, I'm sure you can keep secrets. Gerard tried to kill himself once," his voice catches in his throat. I sit silently in the new information, feeling the tug of the straightener and the heat against my neck. I'd never thought about that, thinking that someone I knew had done that. "Luckily I stopped him or he wouldn't be here with me today. So I understand Ashley's point, but it's not that he doesn't trust you, it's that he's afraid to loose you." The straightener stops tugging at my hair and Frank walks around to kneel in front of me. He plays with my hair gently arranging in then stands out and holds out his hand. "We all were afraid to loose you." I take his hand and stand as he steps aside. I finally see myself in the mirror, but remain speechless. My hair is straight, swept mostly to one side. It hangs loosely around my ears, no longer a heavy tangled mess. I reach up running my hands through it. "I...i love it," I turn to Frank. He beams at me but I sense a sadness in his eyes. He takes my hands in his. It's strange standing next to him now as I am taller than him but in a way I still look up to him. "Andy, you've been speaking this whole time to me, your voice is less patchy, your words clearer. All you needed was to talk, not be forced to or learn to, just to have a conversation to know your worth speaking. If you ever, for any silly reason want to talk I will listen. Okay?" I nod and he pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you Frank." "Anything for someone like you."
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