Death of Me • Camren

Six

Warning: Drug abuse

Sunday morning, Lauren wakes up groggy and confused as to why Julia has returned a day early. It takes her an entire two minutes to realize that the girl she is hugging is, in fact, Camila. She's confused, but surprising this didn't feel as wrong as she assumed. Slowly, she slips her arm from Camila's torso, using it to pick pieces of stranded hair off her sleeping face. Lauren's eyes crinkle at the corners, a smile creeps onto her chapped lips, and she has to immediately ignore the urge to kiss Camila. But that didn't feel wrong either. She sighs, opting for the better option of breakfast instead.

Stepping into the kitchen, barefoot and and still in her pajamas, Lauren ponders on whether to make Camila some Cuban food or go easy with an American breakfast. She looks in the fridge, and when a carton of eggs is the first thing she sees, she decides to go easy.

Pretty soon, the entire apartment is filled with smells of bacon, eggs, and even pancakes. Surprisingly, Lauren wasn't too lazy to cook today.

The scent wakes Camila up. She blinks a few times, attempting to recall where she is, but when she goes into the kitchen and sees Lauren singing and dancing in front of the stove, she remembers. Folding her arms, Camila leans against the doorway. The biggest grin on her face. She watches as Lauren sways along to the beat of some indie song she didn't know. Her pale legs twirl around to find Camila staring with a sparkle in her eyes. Her smile grew so wide that her lips hurt. "You're voice is almost as beautiful as you are," She thinks aloud, taking a seat at the table. And although Lauren played it off, Camila noticed a hint of red on the girl's cheeks. She rolls her eyes as she did when Camila used to shamelessly flirt with her. "As a joke," she would say, but Camila knew it wasn't even close to one.

Lauren turns back around, attending to the food. Camila still observing her very carefully. She wanted to take in every inch of Lauren's body. The way her silky hair flowed so effortlessly. The way that her curves were still very evident, even though the shirt she was wearing was two sizes too big. She wants to remember the way Lauren's smooth skin brushed against hers as they slept last night, and the way her heart feels like exploding with joy from simply looking, long after Julia returns and Camila has to pretend she's not pathetically in love with her girlfriend.

Her eyes follow everything Lauren does until she's sat right in front of her, pushing one of the two plates toward Camila. "What?" Lauren asks when she still doesn't look away, finally snapping her out of her trance. Camila takes a few moments to consider if she should answer truthfully or not. She looks Lauren in the eyes, and decides she can't take it anymore. "I wasn't lying when I said I thought I was in love with you," she spits out. The words roll off her tongue so easily, even she is surprised. Lauren looks down, running a fork through her eggs. There is no reply, so Camila continues. "Lauren, you make me feel so many god damn things I can't even process them." She pauses to see if the girl will say anything. She doesn't, and only continues to mess with the food. "I....you were there for me when no one else was and you always made me feel ok and-"

"Is that what you think love is?" Lauren interrupts, a tone of slight anger in her voice that causes Camila to look at her intently, waiting for further explanation. "Is using me to make yourself feel better all you think love is? You don't know what love is." Lauren finishes, her voice now full of resentment, and Camila realizes she has been misunderstood. "That's not what I meant...." she says, the frown on her face growing with every glance Lauren gave her. "Just stop, Camila." Is all Lauren replies, before pushing  away from the table and locking herself in the bedroom.