Death of Me • Camren

Ten

Lauren had only been at her new job for three days and she already felt like she was losing her mind, but she needed to keep busy.

Maybe that would help.

There wasn't a much to do though, but wait for someone to need her. She chuckled a little at the thought. It seemed like that was all she was good for. Like that was all she knew what to be.  Well that, and weak.

She swallows a lump in her throat. Right now she would be reaching for whatever drug she had hidden away. Because where to hide it would be her first thought when she walked in for an interview, and she was lying when she told her NA meeting it wasn't. There were at least two places she could saw that she knew no one would even look.

So hey, maybe she was good for something else. Innovation.

She makes a mental note to slip the lie into her resume and sits back in her chair. The rest of the day goes by slow to say the least. She spent most of it looking for a different job. One that would occupy her thoughts. One that had opposite hours to Camila, but her experience was few and far between. Basically only an ice cream shop and one other management position. Still, she applied to jobs she was overqualified for and ones she was under qualified for. At this point, she wasn't very picky.

She spends the last few minutes staring at the time, mentally begging it to hit 5:00. When it finally does, Lauren rushes out so fast she doesn't even clock out.

But what was she to do now? Go home? She hadn't been home before 10:00 all week, and she wasn't going to start now. L.A was big enough to keep her entertained. She googles some destinations and decides on a botanical garden. Whatever that is.

Lauren is surprised to find a dome shaped building when she arrives, and It all is very underwhelming until she gets inside. Where there are hundreds of different flowers and plants for what seems like miles. She stands at the entrance not knowing where to begin, but follows the path the most people go. Gawking at even the most uninteresting weed.

By the end of the self-tour her phone is almost out of storage and her feet hurt, but she hasn't felt this at peace in months. It was therapeutic and almost.....addicting. She doesn't even have time to process the apprehensive thought before someone taps her on the shoulder.

"Ma'am. We're closed now, but you can come back tomorrow!" A worker says in a kind but demanding tone. Lauren looks around to find only the two of them standing in the area. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She apologizes profusely before swiftly making her way toward the parking lot. Where it's dark and her car is only one of five.  She'd been in there for over two hours without noticing. Without thinking so much as one intrusive thought.

So she comes back. Every day after work. Every day after she quits and starts a new job at a warehouse. She comes back and spends hours on the same path, looking at the same plants. Being kicked out by the same worker. Except each time they talk more and more. Until the worker is so comfortable she invites Lauren to her apartment for a drink. "Just give me a minute to turn everything off and we can go" she says smiling after Lauren agrees.

They take the worker's car, who Lauren finds out is named Kira to her apartment in Long Beach. Where what was supposed to be only one glass of wine turned to four, turned to them on the floor laughing so much they can't breathe. Almost two bottles later and they're in Kira's bedroom gasping for air between kisses. Naked under the sheets. Kira giggled every once in a while and Laurens heart jumped every time. It was the first time she slept with someone without feeling guilty.