Who is Justin Bieber?

18. Are you? (J)

Justin's P.O.V.

"Are you doing drugs?" she asked. I went from worried about something being wrong with her to worried about her leaving me. I can't lose her.

"Why do you think that?" I asked and already felt bad about it seconds later. Was this lying or just denying the truth? Either way I felt bad about it.

"When I walked to the bathroom uh.. earlier, I saw weed in your drawer I think," she said. Our eyes were locked and there was no way I was gonna lie myself out of it and for some reason I didn't want to either. I don't want to lie to her, I love her but I don't want to lose her either..

Thinking of the weed in my drawer, that wasn't mine. If I would want to smoke then I would just call someone, I'm certainly not risking heaving any in my house. Also I don't do drugs a lot, just when I'm really stressed but I guess she wouldn't understand.

"That's not mine," I say and for the first time since she asked it, she looked away. She closed her eyes and in one way looked relieved but I guess a part of her didn't believe me which I could understand in an way. "I sometimes use drugs," I said, Alyssa's eyes met mine again but I felt like I had to be honest with her, she's my girlfriend I can't lie to her. Hiding this wasn't lying but she deserved to know I guess. Her dad had said I was bad for her because I was older and did drugs and whatever bad things the media told about me, parts of it were true though, and she had defended me.

Now she was in a fight with her dad and that was my fault.. Alyssa looked away. She was probably mad at me and I got that but she never asked and I haven't done it in a long time plus I'm not addicted or something.

"Alyssa.." I say grabbing her hands to pull her closer to me but she pulled back. "I'm sorry I just need a moment," she said so I nodded in understanding. I guess it was a lot to take in for her.

She turned around placing her hands in her hair and mumbled something to herself and then turned back to face me.

"Why?" was all she said or asked.. "Just sometimes.. sometimes the hate gets to me or work and I get a lot of stress and it makes me relax and forget," I answer honestly. She nodded looking at me as if she was searching for the truth but I just told her that.

"H-have you done it? Like since you were w-with me?" she could barely let out. "No," I said shaking my head as if, if I didn't she wouldn't believe.

"So like you haven't done it for somewhat four weeks?" she asked. "Probably haven't done it longer than that. I don't do it all the time, Alyssa. Maybe once a month if it isn't less," I said.

She looked down, biting her lower lip as she nervously moved her body in half circles or something by moving to the right and the left. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and brushed her fingers through her hair, again.

"I'm tired," she said looking to me, she looked tired. "Do you want to sleep in my bed or a guest room? I can just sleep somew-" I said but Alyssa interrupted me, "Please, stay with me," she said. I gave a nod as she walked towards my bedroom and I followed her.

She took of the shorts and shoved into the bed, I followed her, laying next to her not really sure if I should cuddle with her because I wasn't sure if she was mad at me. She turned to me, grabbing my hand as she looked at it with a smile.

"Can you do something for me?" she said still focusing on my hand as she played a bit with it. "yes, of course," I said.

"If you're stressed, call me, please? I can also try to help you and I'd rather have to come here then you doing drugs to be honest. It's not that I'm saying you can't do it just that if you can do something about it try to because it's not good for you, you know," she said and the look in her eyes made me feel guilty that I ever started it in the first place. I had Alyssa, a lovely family and my fans, they could help me with the stress, not that stuff.

Her eyes now looked at me full of worry and it looked like she was desperate to hear me say yes and she was right, I could just do that, come to her when I was stressed because I had her and I knew she would try to help me.

"I will," I said entwining our hands. Her face lit up a bit, a small but so perfect smile on her mouth and those eyes filled with relieve but most important, with love. She kissed me but leaned back after a few seconds, I didn't want her to do that. I wanted to feel her for as long as I could.

"We should really get some sleep because I don't want to look all tired when I come on the television with you," she said as she licked her lips.

"Well we can just tell the reason why you're tired," I said and winked at her which caused her too blush but it was so cute. She hid her face in my chest, "Justinnn," she said playfully but serious.

"Just kidding, maybe," I say with a laugh and give her a kiss on her head, "goodnight."

"Goodnight, Justin" she closed her eyes and I took a moment looking at her. She was so beautiful and I was so blessed to have her. I don't even know how I did it all I know is that I never want to break her heart, ever. I'll do Anything for her.