Snap. She opened her eyes slowly and blinked as they struggled to focus on the flesh colored blur hovering over her. Blink. Blink. Ah, there it was. A round face was poised over hers, dark eyes under heavy brows that furrowed with concern.
"Alex? How are you feeling?" he asked.
He? Who was he? She dug through the foggy areas of her mind to remember. Oh right. Doctor Beale. She nodded, which seemed to shake the rest of the fog free as she sat up. She was positioned on a deep blue sofa in his office. It was one of those pieces of furniture that sat low to the ground and may be too comfortable just to sit in a doctor's office.
"I'm okay Dr. Beale." she replied, after which she took a deep breath and released with a shudder.
"You know how this works by now, Alex. So let's go over what happened in there so I can file my report and let you be on your way." he said as he grabbed a leather bound notebook.
He positioned himself to sit in his large leather desk chair which he had pulled up to the couch so he could monitor her during their session. Alex wedged herself into the corner of the couch and pulled her legs up to the side of her so she was in what felt like a safe little ball. She grabbed a pillow and held it to her torso. She didn't like this part. The fear could be forgotten after waking if she didn't have to do this part every time. She could feel her stomach threaten with a cramp.
"I don't like this part, Doc. I know it's necessary because of regulations and everything now but it's still bullshit. They're punishing people with mental illness by forcing us through this shit." she growled out.
Getting angry was so much easier than being afraid. She argued this every time and every time Doc indulged her because he knew the anger was to protect her while she went over her session.
"Alex we've been over this. Regulations mean you go through therapy and I send in the results to verify you're not a threat. If you fail to comply you know the result. " he spoke quietly.
She did know. So she was going to comply because it was the only way to survive these days.
"Alex what happened? Describe it to me." he asked.
"It was the same as always. I was running. I was scared. So fucking scared." she shuddered.
"Of what?"
"I don't know, like always. It never shows itself or makes itself known. I just know it's there and I need to get away from it." she picked at her nails as she spoke.
"It's pitch black and I can't see a damn thing but I'm running as fast and as hard as I can. I know it's behind me. I know it wants me. It wants to hurt me. There's nothing to tell me where I am. I don't know if I'm inside or outside. It's just black. Up is down and sideways and inside out all at the same time. I don't know if I'm actually even getting anywhere until I trip on something. That's the only thing that tells me I'm moving because it sends me forward into something." she rubbed her shoulder, remembering.
It didn't hurt. Did it? No. That's just her head messing with her.
"What happens after you fall, Alex?" he was scribbling in his pad.
Her stomach heaved a little as she remembered. Or didn't remember. It was always hard to distinguish if she was really seeing something at that part. The only thing she knew was that it was full of something evil.
"I scramble and it shows before me. Kind of. I mean there's just little slivers of light that outline it. I don't even know where the light comes from. I just know it's something. " she whispers, fingers at her mouth as she chewed at them.
