An Unexpected Life

A New Beginning

'I can't believe he actually left,' Celeste thought in mild disbelief as she sat at their - no, her - dining room table, as she waited for her tea kettle to sing it's song. She blindly traced the pattern of white stenciling she had painted onto the tabletop when she had finally completed refinishing the table not too long ago.

A soft breeze blew through the open door that allowed her dogs the freedom to wander at will onto the raised deck of her rented home. Obsidian and Jasper, their - her - mixed-breed dogs, were out there now, playing with an old soccer ball. She waited for Malakai to charge in and steal the ball. 'Like he always does,' she thought with a small smile. Her smile fell away when she remembered he wasn't here. His absence brought a pang to her heart. The energy in her home was already changing, she sadly noted.

The breeze blowing in through the door brought a hint of rain with it, and she watched the clouds grow increasingly darker as they drifted past her view. The rain will be good for her gardens, she thought fleetingly. Her eyes touched on her raised beds with a hint of pride as her mind, much like the sky before her, began to cloud over with stormy thoughts again.

It had been overcast all day, an unusually cool Saturday in August, the morning of which she had spent happily tending the plants in her expansive vegetable and herb gardens, giving thanks to Mother Earth for the blessings of a temperate day. Celeste had been proud of her hard work, having weeded all of her beds, mounded more dirt onto her thriving potato plants, gently pruned the plants in need of such care, and harvested the deliciously ripe vegetables ready to be eaten or preserved in advance of the rainfall expected in the evening.

As she was cleaning her colorful bounty, John had strode into their small but warm kitchen and patiently watched as she completed the task at hand. Celeste had turned from the sink with a smile on her face as she dried her hands on a tea towel, excited to share her morning's gleanings with him. Before she could utter a word, however, he broke the news, tersly telling her that he didn't want to live this life anymore. He offered no explanations, summing up his feelings by saying that tired cliche, "It isn't you. It's me," followed up with a short, tired laugh. After their painfully brief conversation, John had calmly clipped Malakai, their - his - purebred German Shepherd, to a leash, and quietly walked out of the home they had shared for three years.

Celeste had left shortly after as well, taking Obsidian and Jasper to the local rails-to-trails for a long, slow, easy walk. She felt the need to be outside, to focus on the here and now, to feel her body move in the illusion of doing something rather than sit perched in the stillness of a never-ending moment.

Celeste wasn't sure why John had chosen to end their relationship. While not perfect, she had thought it was built on a solid foundation of friendship and hard-earned communication. Sure, they had had a few minor issues over the past couple of years, but Celeste had thought they were in a good place overall, had similar goals and dreams, and had that certain something that made them right for each other. They just seemed to fit together from the very start. She had obviously been wrong.

Being out in nature, breathing in the fresh air, envisioning the crisp breeze clearing out the gray melancholy stain deposited on her energy by John's departure, and watching the in-the-moment enthusiasm Obsidian and Jasper exhibited as they gamboled at the end of their leashes had restored a touch of peace to her heart, and Celeste had returned home calmer than when she had left, if no less confused and heartbroken.

Not one to immerse herself in self- pity or steep in negativity, Celeste closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths, and released the feelings of sadness and inertia encroaching on her teetering sense of peace. Knowing John, she realized this wasn't an in-the-moment decision. John had been considering this move for a while, and he wasn't going to change his mind.

Celeste opened her eyes on her next inhale, picked up her case of colored pencils, and pulled her bullet journal closer to her. She chose a warm pink pencil and wrote 'A New Beginning' in a flowing script at the top of a new page. After all, Celeste determinedly thought as she took a sip of the still-hot jasmine tea sitting in front of her, an ending is nothing more than a beginning.