Ana and Christian

Chapter Four : New York Part 2

Ana:

New York skyline is at my feet when I wake , it's stunning. I gaze at the view for what seems like forever. The room around is still , no noise or movement- it's peaceful. I could definitely get used to this. I look up at the white ceiling , Christian- he is on my mind already. Last night , I've never felt so connected to someone. He's my boss , though. Ugh this is confusing. "Mama ," Phoebe pops up from her crib , rubbing her eyes sleepily. And for now my quiet moment is interrupted.

After a quick nursing session with Phoebe , we climb out of bed and head downstairs. There is breakfast already on the table - Christian is nowhere to be seen. I set Phoebe down beside me and slow her to walk around in the dining area. I quickly cut a pancake into tiny pieces then pour syrup over them , Phoebe is quietly babbling to herself. I smile , she's in a great mood today and I can't help but giggle at her crazy bed head. "Mama takes?" "Yes baby pancakes," I correct her gently and with my fork I offer her a bite. She accepts and takes the pancake , chewing slowly "Good?" Phoebe nods.
I hear Christian's voice is talking on the phone or to someone. His voice makes my skin tingle.

I quietly listen in while feeding Phoebe bites of pancake.

"No , ah yes ......... why? Hmm really? I feel like that would have happened sooner. The dinner is when? I won't be back by then. ........... Baby I'm sorry ...., I can't help it. I know , I know. Christ Camille give me a fucking break! I'm trying ......... no ...... why? Oh ....... yes ... you too. Bye"
Everything pauses around me , holy fuck. He has a girlfriend. Tears involuntarily well up in my eyes , why am I crying? My chests swells with the familiar feeling of not being wanted or needed. Fuck . We didn't even ...... I thought he felt something. Last night , his touch , his eyes. If it's wasn't for Phoebe tapping my leg for more pancake , I think I would sit here in the chair for hours- not moving. "Mama more!" She exclaims clapping her hands together impatiently I comply and feed her another bite. Phoebe chews and swallows then asks for a banana , as I slice it - Christian comes in.

He likes edible in dark denim jeans and a white linen shirt. His hair is artfully tousled and the scruff around his jawline had grown out even more - he looks more like a bad boy you would want to stay away from then the powerful CEO he really is. Then it hits me again. Girlfriend! My subconscious is scowling and telling me I told you no man wants a single mom! I finally agree with her.
"Good morning Anastasia, Phoebe." Christian takes the seat across from us and begins to place food on his plate. Phoebe smiles shyly at him and eats a piece of banana. I finally find my voice "Morning Mr. Grey," Is all I can manage. Fuck , why didn't I realize he has a girlfriend? Maybe it's because he's been checking me out? I swallow thickly and stare at the food on the table , my hunger has vanished into thin air. "How did you sleep?" Christian asks looking up from the morning paper , his eyes shine with unsaid emotion. How can he look at me like that and he with someone. Surely guys don't look at girls like that if they have a girlfriend right? Not that I would know.

"Fine ," I turn my attention back to Phoebe and feed her more breakfast. I can't face him. "Is everything alright?" Other than me having a huge crush on you and you having a girlfriend, yeah I'm great. "Yeah , " Christian holds back his scowl at me. He shifts in his seat and takes a bite of his pancake , he watches me with that same look he's been giving me since I began working for him. That I-want - you - now look. It's hot. Phoebe taps my leg "Mama wawa ," She little face is covered in banana and syrup, I can't help but grin stupidly at her while I clean her face up. Phoebe smiles widely at me and takes a big drink of water "Ahhh," She lets out an dramatic sound and Christian chuckles. I glance at him , he is watching us - like he always is. Ugh why must I have feelings for him!

"When is my meeting today?" Christian breaks through the awkward silence , I briefly glance at him "Around noon ," My tone is short and clipped , I can't say anymore. I feel Christian frown but he doesn't reply , maybe he got the hint.
Phoebe is done with her breakfast and ready for her morning bath , I pick her up in my arms and head upstairs without another word to Christian. I can't look him in the eye.