His Forever Flame

12. The Next Day

The next day, Lauren told Jay about how her mother reacted. He was less than thrilled, but there wasn't much he could do until December. He wanted to talk to Kelly about moving her out until she graduated, but he hadn't gotten the chance yet.

Will and Mouse returned about ten the next morning. Thankfully, they both looked well rested. Lauren decided to give Jay some time with them so she said she was going to the cafeteria. Will decided to join her; Mouse may look well rested, but Will knew he didn't sleep much. He'd had at least two different dreams/nightmares that woke Will in the night. Each time, he'd tried to get Mouse to talk to him, but he wouldn't. He was hoping if he gave Mouse time alone with his brother that he would open and up and not send himself into a relapse.

Once Will and Lauren left the room, Jay focused on Mouse. Something was going on with his best friend. Mouse kept walking back and forth at the end of his bed, staring a hole into the floor. "Mouse?" but Mouse didn't respond.

"Hey, Mouse?" still nothing. "Greg!" That seemed to get his attention. Jay hadn't called him that since their first few days as Rangers.

"Yea?" he said as he finally looked up at Jay.

"Sit down, will you? You're making me dizzy watching you walk back and forth," Jay said with a smirk. Mouse sat down in the chair Lauren had sat in last night. His shoulders were slumped forward and his head hung just a little. "Talk to me Mouse. What is it?"

Mouse took a deep breath and slowly released it. "We're cool," he said.

"I know 'we're cool' dude, but somethings wrong."

"I... uh... I couldn't sleep last night... I just kept remembering the last time. The dreams... man... they were so real. I woke Will twice. I didn't mean too, but I guess I was talking in my sleep. Then... I'd see you laying there, Jay. See you with gun shots and blood everywhere, and I couldn't save you. No matter what I did, I couldn't save you."

"Mouse, look at me. I'm right here. I'm still here." What Jay said didn't seem to faze him; Mouse was lost in his own world. Jay knew he had to let him get it all out, but it was hard watching his friend live through the dreams again. "It... was... just so real. And then I'd see... Hollingsworth and the jihadist."

"Mouse, I get it, man, I do." He couldn't keep quiet any more.

"Yea. I know you do. I should've been there Jay. I should've been there this time to help you, again."

"Mouse, stop. You can't play the 'what-if' game. You don't know what would've happened if you'd been there. It could've gone a lot worse. I could've still been the only one to make it and then I would've lost you. I just... can't... can't imagine that. You're my best friend, my brother, and we have to stop this." Jay hated thinking this way, but he knew Mouse needed to hear it so he would stop blaming himself.

"Yea, yea, you're right."

"Aren't I always?" Jay asked with a smirk. It at least got Mouse to smile.

"Keep dreaming, Halstead." Jay was quiet for a minute. He wasn't sure how much Mouse would know, but he had to ask. "Hey, how is she man? I mean really? She seemed ok last night, but I was so drugged I couldn't tell if she was just putting on an act or not."

"She pulled it together for you, man. I think when you woke up, it was the reassurance she needed. She was a mess, Jay. She lost it at the airport, but then she pulled it together. I think she just needed that one good cry, so she could be strong for you later. And did you know, your girl can sleep like the dead?"

Jay chuckled at this; "You have no room to talk, Mouse."

"I know, but damn, I think she sleeps harder and deeper than me."