His Girl

7. His Leave

Jay Halstead was on leave from the Rangers. While technically he was still in the reserves, he'd just finished his second tour. His best friend was receiving inpatient treatment for PTSD, and while Jay suffered the same, his wasn't as bad.

He'd just buried his mother and his brother jetted back to New York to party it up. The love of his life had by all means appeared to have moved on, so Jay was alone. He needed out of Chicago. He needed away from the memories and the nightmares and he needed to learn to be on his own. He found a cabin in Silver Lake and rented it for the whole month. It was late spring, turning into summer, and a cabin seemed like the perfect distraction.

He packed a bag and jumped on his Ducati and headed out. It was the first time since his first tour that'd he'd had the bike out, and it felt amazing. It rumbled beneath him, all steel and power as the wind blew through his curls.

It was the first time since joining the Rangers that he was letting his hair grow out. It was just starting to curl, and he could hear her voice. She loved his curls, loved running his fingers through them. She also loved how the sun brought out every single one of his freckles.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself. This had to stop. She'd clearly moved on and he needed to as well. He needed to stop hearing her voice most of all.

He drove straight through, arriving at the cabin mid-afternoon. As he explored the inside he realized just how perfect it really was for him. Her voice floated back through his mind as he remembered the conversation where they discussed buying a cabin and raising their family in it. She wanted to be a teacher, him an army man, with three kids, two girls and a boy. She said the girls would be daddy's babies and she'd have a mama's boy that looked like him.

"Damn it," he screamed punching the wall in the basement. He peeled the skin off his knuckles but it was a welcome relief. No matter how hard he'd tried, he couldn't get her out of his head. The best part about having a doctor for a brother and serving in the Rangers was that he learned to clean himself up.

He went upstairs and bandaged up his knuckles. He seriously had to stop thinking about her. He'd seen her three different times with the same guy so she'd clearly moved on and forgotten about him despite the emails he still received from time to time. He never replied.

After fixing his hand, he walked down to the dock and stared out over the water. He hoped a month here would conquer his demons and help him forget his time overseas. He also hoped he'd be able to forget her.

The first week consisted of a lot of sleepless nights and drinking. Drinking helped him forget until he'd sober up, and then memories would creep in sending him looking for the bottle again. When he realized that wasn't working and he was just pushing himself to an early grave, he turned to hard physical work.

He started negotiating with the owners to try and buy it. Even though he wasn't sure if she'd ever find her way back to him, he knew this cabin should be theirs. If she came back he wanted to have it for her.

He built a fence around the property; he repaired the dock and made it brand new after a storm came through; he put a new roof on after said storm ripped the shingles off; last, he started painting and fixing up the basement. He pushed himself hard, getting all of this done by the end of the second week. At night he was so tired he didn't have a chance to dream.

At the beginning of the third week, Jay had finally convinced the owners to sell him the place. He signed the papers the same day Mouse called and told him he was being released. Jay gave him the address and invited him up. That night he gave Mouse the tour and they grilled out.

This week was spent relaxing with Mouse. One thing Mouse learned in his treatment was talking about things made them easier to bear. Between, boating, hiking and swimming, Mouse got Jay to talk to him about their tours, and it seemed to be helping him.