Depressing shit about life

Caring

I honestly don't give a shit. But sometimes I do. It's confusing. Cause sometimes I will start crying over the past (talk about that in a different chapter) and other times I will just say whatever the fuck I want and not give a shit about the repercussions of it. Like today, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and I loved it, but then my dad and friend started talking to me and I almost said "would you assholes stop talking? Cause I don't give a shit about what you're saying tbh" but then i cared a little. I only deeply care about 3 people in this world. My brother, Kaylie, and Diela. But I haven't seen kaylie and diela in almost a year and my brother is in rehab till the end of the month (more on that later) so I just don't know how to tell people that I don't care about them without being kicked out of my house or something. Idk, it's really difficult. I just want to go back in time and fix the stupid shit I did.