I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I pried my eyes open and went into the bathroom. Did the morning ritual; peed, brushed my teeth, and looked at my reflection.My eyes are a faded gray-blue, hair is... No idea what color.... My nose was broken as a kid, and was offset from this event.
I took a deep breath and exhaled as I remembered that Today was an odd day. Spanish. Blech. I walked out and threw my hoodie on. I kept it because I'm always cold. Plus it hid food and muscles very well. I could punch hard and eat harder.
I got my hot pocket out. Mmmm pepperoni pizza kind. Like me. Hot and spicy. Minus the whole hot part. And the spicy part. I punched the same 2:30 in, pressed start, and went back to my room. As I threw my socks on, I thought about how the clothes I have are unattractive.
Like me. Or maybe my depression is just getting to me. Oh well. I got my shoes on and walked with my school stuff to get my food and go to the bus. Bus driver came, I was bored the whole time. Saw no pretty girls. Got off and started towards my friend.
Why was he my friend again? No clue.. But his craziness compliments mine so I guess it's ok. Then I saw my angel. Her dark hair and short height makes her purely delectable.
I dated her. I wasn't good enough for her, and she doesn't want a boyfriend, so I broke it off. Only time I remember being happy. Why did she date me exactly? I'm nothing good. Ugly, annoying, I know no boundaries and often cross the line.
Must have been the pressure I put on her. And I have her in my classes today... Poor her having the constant reminder that her first boyfriend was so depressing, and having to see the guy she just wants to escape. Poor her.
She looks away from me.
I shake my pain and my being flustered off and I head to my best friend and we sit there for a few minutes until one of us breaks the silence. I'll go first and try to rid myself the pain.
Just an hour awake an I already want to be asleep. Away from idiots at school. Away from stress. Away from heartbreak. Me and the friend talk until we have to go to art. I drop my books off and go to get my other books.
I see her again in the corner of my eye. Why can't I move on?
As I'm walking I see everyone with friends. I'm alone. In this moment and in life. I get my books and have a sad look on my face. No one cares. They see it, but I'm not important enough to care about. My books don't weigh anything to me anymore.
I put my books up, and then leave to get water from the coldest fountain in school. The walking also helps the knee I cut open last summer hurt less. After my water, I go back in, and see her talking to her best friend.
She's wearing the black jacket again. Perfect on her. As well as her light blue pants. I can't see her shirt, but I imagine it looks great. My heart beats harder. Almost hurts it beats so hard.
I see my friends and sit at their table listen to their weirdness. I fit in. They look to me for input. That's my cue to be social. To act like I'm ok. I have to act like I'm happy. Well, here I go...
