Mind Mischief

74: Mick Jagger ate my album

So my album still hasn't arrived, despite Australia post being slow af.

It is safe to say Australia probably has freaking George the turtle delivering.

With much research I have deducted the true reason why it isn't here?? As surely it can't JUST be Australia being a shithole at the end of the world...

I have discovered that there is a wormhole in my kitchen sink which goes directly to wherever my parcel is. Which sounds super good because hey, I could not have for postage or not have to wait. BUT NATURALLY NOTHING CAN GO RIGHT FOR ME and I realised that Mick Jagger has been jumping through the holes. I say holes plural as he says he can't get what he wants, and that he can't get no satisfaction. Whatever that means, they are portals not groupies.

So Mick Jagger jumps through the bloody portals and steals my mail. He does what any self respecting idiot does and eats it. I did some maths to prove this.

I ordered the Weather album approximately 19 days ago.

19 - 1 Mick Jagger = 18
BUT WAIT MICK JAGGER HAS 10 LETTERS SO YOU HAVE TEN ON YOUR OTHER HAND.
MY ALBUM HAS 10 TRACKS.
BUT WAIT.
ONE OF THEM IS CALLED SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET.
YOU KNOW WHAT HAS FEET?
AUSTRALIA'S SHITTY MAIL MEN.

HOWEVER? MICK JAGGER ALSO HAS FEET AND IT WOULD BE A FEAT IF HE JUMPED THROUGH THE PORTAL.

THAT'S NOT ALL. COLDER THAN ICE FEAT. KIRIN J CALLINAN....
COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT?

Enough, enough but I won't admit defeat. Therefore I have proved if anything goes wrong blame Mick....

O wait...  that is right it arrived today yass!!

kurts-corpse-bride
I'M SO SHOCKED BECAUSE THAT GUITARIST I MENTIONED IS ON THE ALBUM. LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS. I HAD NO IDEA