Septiplier One Shots

Newborns and Hairy Babies PART I

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"Mark! Come here!" Mark glanced up the stairs curiously as Jack's energetic voice rang through the house. Slipping off his headphones, he turned off his laptop and hurried up the stairs to his and Jacks room.

"What is it, Cucumber?"

Jack came out of the bathroom, his face stained a bright red, and help out a small, odd looking white stick. Mark raised an eyebrow and took the stick, holding it closer.

On it was a small box with a "+" in the center. Mark's eyes widened as he looked up back to Jack, who was currently looking away in embaressment.

"How in the hell?"

" Remember when I told you I'm intersex...?"

"So that extra stuff you have...actually works?"

"Apparently so.."

"How? I fucked you in the ass. How is that connected to the extra shit you got in there?"

"It has to connect to somewhere, Mark."

"Why didn't you tell me this could happen!?" Mark threw his arms into the air in exasperation.

"I didn't know! I though the extra shit was just somethin that would sit in me unconnected to anythin else! I'm sorry that I don't know where my fookin arse leads to!"

"Why did you even do the test!?"

" It was uhh...It was for a video...."

"..."

Jack hung his head and grasped at the side of his arm as anger,  confusion, and fear ran into his heart at the same time.

"Do you want me to get rid of it?"

Mark quickly grabbed Jack and pulled him into a tight hug, nuzzling his affectionately.

"No....no. It just came as a surprise. I'm really happy. So, so happy."

Jack stood there in the comforting hug, trying to process what Mark had said. Mark didn't hate him. He didn't have to get rid of his child. Mark still loved him.

Relief filled Jack and he reached up with shaky hands to return the embrace.

"You're shaking." Mark picked Jack up and walked over to their bed. He sat down and set the little cucumber on his lap, snaking his arms around his waist in another embrace.

"When is it due?"

"8 months."

"You went a full month without knowing you have a kid inside you?"

"Shut up."

"Love you too, Cucumber."

"..."

" Where is it gonna come out?"

"If I'm lucky, the back."

"And if you're not lucky?"

"I'm gonna need a dick transplant."

"Well shit....."

( Month 1 )

Jack's stomach had started to bulge ever so slightly and he tired very easily. He sat on on the couch and leaned back into Mark, enjoying the two warm arms wrapped around him.

Spongebob played on the TV and Squidward was currently in a hospital bed. Jack's stomach let out a low rumble.

" I want munchies. " He mumbled, going to get up from his spot. Before he could completely stand up, Mark grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down.