Book 3: You Don't Want My Love (Slash FanFic)

Ch. 9: I'm Sorry

"Septicemia," she told me, standing off to the side as I gazed through the glass at my beloved Pandora. "In your previous sitter's defense, it can be a silent killer. I was lucky to have caught it early enough. If it had gone undetected any longer, euthanasia may have been her only option."

"Jesus..." Was I tearing up? Pandora was curled up into a ball, looking none too pleased with life at the moment. I couldn't blame her. How could I have been such an idiot? Why hadn't I been more responsible? "I'll kill that idiot! Applying to be a pet sitter for snakes, but not even able to properly care for them."

She snorted. "Yeah, well, you can't take proper care of Pandora if you're in prison for murder, now can you?"

"Like I give a fuck..." I hissed. "Someone needs to pay for this."

"Looks like somebody already is."

I turned to her, furrowing my eye brows in confusion. "Me, right?"

She had a look on her face that told me she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her features were so far away from that fleeting smile she'd given me at the front door. On her face, all I could see now were contempt and disgust.

"No, not you. To put it bluntly, it was you who hired that other guy, and now it is Pandora who is paying the price for your screw ups," her tone had returned to one of disdain. "You were an irresponsible pet owner. You should have chosen someone based on qualifications rather than anatomy."

My mouth fell open in shock as she pointed an accusing finger at my chest, her nail jabbing into me repeatedly as she spoke.

"Ow! Cut that out!" I swatted her hand away in a huff, my lips pouty as I took in her words.

As much as I hated to acknowledge it, Allison was right. I had been fucking up left and right lately it seemed, with everyone close to me getting caught in the crossfire of my own bullshit. First, it was Steven, who had gotten tossed aside like trash just because I didn't have the balls to stand up to the rest of the band. Then Izzy, because I just couldn't wrestle my own addictions and wrangle in my drinking habits. We had all scared him away. Axl and Duff came next, because I couldn't handle what the band had become. The broken band that I had had a hand in dismantling, but couldn't stick around to watch as it burned to the ground. And now, my dear Pandora, dying because I had been so full of myself as to think that Allison had been a rabid fan rather than a genuine and intelligent snake handler.

I was just one, big screw up, and my mistakes just kept coming one after the other. A never ending chain of bullshit.

"I...I'm sorry."

Allison's entire body relaxed at my apology, and she stepped back slightly as if she had been physically blown away by my words. I couldn't blame her. From what I could recall, it had been the first time since we'd met that I had shown any ounce of humility or accountability. I was honestly just as surprised as she was by my sudden change in character.

Slash wasn't the type to apologize for his actions. He liked to just continue on with the party, keep everything lighthearted and fun. If anything threatened to wreck his good time, he'd simply create enough chaos to destroy the obstacle before continuing on with his good time. But this was Saul speaking. This was my true self. I owed a lot of people an apology. But I supposed that I could start here, with this girl who hated me, but who had put that aside anyway to save Pandora.

"You don't have to apologize to me," Allison finally said after studying me for a moment, as if unsure whether to trust if I was being genuine or not. She nodded towards the tank where Pandora was resting under some heat lamps. "Pandora is the one who deserves the apology."

I nodded, gulping softly and bowing my head in sorrow. "I-I know. I just...I want to apologize to you too. You really didn't have to come here...especially after how I've treated you."

She snorted. "You think I'm here for you? You think any of that matters to me?"

I was trying to remain patient with her, but her tone was really beginning to rub me the wrong way. Couldn't she just accept an apology?

"I came here because an animal was suffering and needed my help," Allison informed me. "I don't care how you treat me. Obviously, I'd prefer if you were more respectful, but at the end of the day, all that matters to me is how you treat your snakes. That's what I'm here for. That's all I'm here for. Capiche?"

I considered making some smart ass comment, but thought better of it. She was still upset with me, and I had no right to try and negate those feelings. I had treated her like trash, the same way I'd treated most women I met. I couldn't blame her for having a difficult time trusting my sincerity, especially after how I had been treating everyone around me in recent weeks.

"Alright. I'll leave you to it, then. I'll pay you double what I was originally paying the last sitter if you can make Pandora better again. You've proven you're capable and..." I heaved a sigh as I swallowed my pride. "I'd really appreciate it if you would choose to stay and help."

Allison's eyes widened at the mention of double the pay, and I could see her hostility melting away as she became overwhelmed by all of the money I had just thrown at her. I found myself wondering what kind of a job this girl had had before she'd wound up with this gig to make her eyes light up the way that they just did.

"Oh! Well, I...y-yes. Yes. Of course!" She stammered, still showing signs of bewilderment. "I can't promise anything just yet, but she is showing signs of improvement and things are definitely looking up for Pandora. I will try my best."

I nodded softly. "Thank you, Allison."

She was caught off guard by the sound of her name on my lips. She probably thought I had forgotten it, and if she were any other girl, I probably would have. But she was special to Pandora, and so she was special to me.

"Erm, call me Al," she blushed as she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's what everybody calls me, anyway."

I smiled and nodded, finally glad to see some vulnerability coming from her. Something other than anger. "Sure thing, Al. And you can call me Saul."

That hostility returned to her eyes, but it was gone in a flash and immediately replaced by a teasing gaze and a knowing smile.

"No way. You're definitely more of a Slash," she informed me, cocking her head slightly as she gazed at me with those glowing eyes.

"Don't I know it."