Book 3: You Don't Want My Love (Slash FanFic)

Ch. 33: Fuck 'Em

Over the next few days, Duff's situation progressively got both better and worse. Better because his insides were finally healing properly and he hadn't had to go into surgery like the doctors had feared, but worse when they switched his morphine drip out for a more controlled one and he could no longer administer the opioids to himself anymore. It was true that he was still in some pain, but that didn't mean that they wanted him to continue down the dark path of addiction through their own supply of narcotics.

Steven and I watched as Duff was basically forced into an early and sudden rehab, which I was actually somewhat thankful for. Quitting drinking cold turkey was dangerous and one of the few addictions that were known to kill a man if they ever tried to come off of it too quickly. This hospital was the safest place for Duff right now, even if he was miserable the whole time.

I only called Al a couple of times. I didn't want to worry her and I missed her terribly, though I tried to act calm and collected when we were chatting on the phone. Of course, Al knew better. She kept making it a point to say "I love you, and I miss you" every time we hung up, forcing me to admit my feelings back. I blushed deeply if anyone else was around to hear my reply.

"So, you've got a girl, huh?" Duff teased me the first time I'd called Al to let her know Steven and I had made it to Seattle and that Duff was okay.

"Yeah, so?"

"How long will this one last, I wonder...." He thought that this was a fling, and the way he raised his eye brows told me he wanted some of the sexy details.

"Hopefully a long time," I replied back blandly, causing Duff's expression to shift almost immediately.

"Oh my God, you actually like this girl!" His eyes were wide with shock, and his mouth fell open with the hint of a smile.

"Yeah. In fact, I love her." My face was burning by this point though I tried to remain stoic.

"She's really cool!" Steven chimed in from where he was playing Solitaire over by the window. "Her name is Al and she can kick your ass."

"She sounds cool," Duff laughed. "I hope I'll get to meet her soon."

"I hope so too. Hurry up and get better soon so you can, idiot."

Izzy showed up a few days after Steven and I had, donning dreadlocks and a much more carefree aura. He was smiling more, seemed to have gained a few pounds, and he didn't look quite as milky white as he usually did. He sauntered in as though no time or distance had passed between the 4 of us at all, breathing new life into the room and soon we were all hanging out and laughing just like old times.

As we all scooted our chairs around Duff's bed to play some poker with Steven's deck of cards, I found myself sneaking looks up at Izzy, so thankful that he was here. He was like our poster child for recovery after addiction, and I really hoped that Izzy's presence would be enough to push Duff-and hell, hopefully even Steven-in the right direction. Rehab was possible, even for people as far gone as we were. Luckily, I had Al now to help me get back on track little by little, but I worried for Steven and Duff-who were still mostly on their own.

"Wow, you guys suck!" Duff chuckled as he beat us all for the fourth time with a full house. He leaned forward and grabbed all of the crackers we'd laid in the middle of the small table-the only substitute for poker chips that we'd had on hand. "You sure you want to keep playing?"

"Someone's counting cards..." Izzy muttered the accusation under his breath.

"Fuck off, we're letting you win because we feel sorry for you," Steven lied, pouting his lip as best as he could.

"Yeah, everyone knows to go easy on the handicap," I teased Duff some more.

Of course, we were all full of shit. Izzy had the best poker face, but Duff always had the best luck when it came to cards, ladies...anything, really. Duff had always been like everyone's cooler older brother. Everything always came so easy for him, and we were always looking up to him (in more ways than one).

"Looks like my luck hasn't run out yet!" Duff bragged with a smirk. "I was worried I'd gambled it all during this last stunt, but I've still got it!"

"Well, just in case, you probably shouldn't do something like this again," Izzy began, his tone becoming a little more stern.

Duff shook his head. "No, don't worry. I'm done with this shit. I mean it this time."

"Good," Izzy replied with a nod. "Besides, you want to have a family eventually, right? You'll need all the luck you can get there!"

"Yeah, especially if you have daughters!" Steven pointed out. "Karma will get us for sure if any of us have daughters!"

"Shit, I didn't even think about that..." Duff muttered under his breath, his eyes falling to his lap as the magnitude of the sex of his hypothetical children hit him. "And I can't even use alcohol to cope anymore! Shit! I fucked up, guys."

Steven shook his head, his tongue making some tsk-ing sounds. "Karma" he repeated for emphasis.

"But for real, let's all do better," I chimed in, trying to reel the conversation back to the serious note that Izzy had began on. They all turned to look at me, and it felt like for the first time in a long time we were all on the same page again. We were a team again. "Families or not, girlfriends or not, Guns N'Roses or not...let's do better for ourselves. We've been working so hard all of these years to please the record companies, the magazines, MTV...fuck 'em, honestly. We need to start looking out for ourselves and for each other. Even if we never play together again, I don't want the reason to be because one of us is dead."

They all sat for a moment, as if mulling over my words. Just as I was beginning to think maybe I had gone too far or misread the situation, Steven suddenly threw a fist up into the air and beamed. "Yeah! Fuck 'em!"

Izzy and Duff cracked smiles at that.

"Fuck those assholes," Izzy agreed with a nod.

"Fuck every one of 'em!" Duff cheered.

I couldn't stop grinning, and it seemed like no one else could too. Through all the bullshit, all of the pain, and all of the betrayal, we had gotten through it and it seemed like we were on our way to being better than ever. We had made it through the storm, and we survived to see the rainbow at the end. At least, the 4 of us had.

We're missing one. The thought made my heart sink, and I knew that there was still some unfinished business that needed to be taken care of.

Now that I knew that Duff wasn't dying, now that Steven was awake and smiling, and now that Izzy was getting back to his roots, there was one more piece missing from this puzzle. One more person who I wanted to join in on our shared triumphs.

Just like it hurt me to imagine Duff writhing in pain in a hospital bed all by himself, it hurt me just as much to picture Axl brooding over his piano and all alone in his big empty mansion. I could easily picture him staring off into space, playing the same notes over and over like a broken record, and only eating when his maids reminded him to. I felt a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Guys," I murmured suddenly, causing them all to stop laughing and stare at me expectantly. "There's somewhere that I need to be."

A/N: thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the update! Today was one of my best friend's birthdays. Actually, she's the friend who originally showed me Wattpad, so she's basically the only reason I started on here! Crazy, right?

Anyway, just felt like throwing that random fun fact out there. Hope you guys are doing well! Read, comment, vote!