We build then we break.

Chapter 3: To the moon, stars and back again.

I never truly discovered what dying felt like, or if it even felt like anything. Even on the morning of September the 10th, when I hoped my life would slip away and for my soul to evaporate into another gust of wind, I didn't feel as though I was dying, but as though I was preparing my self for something greater than what had become of me in this life. If anything, on September the 10th, I had never felt so alive despite the fact my life was about to come to an end. About to.

September 10th

I was drowning. I could feel the the weight on my lungs, heavy like water balloons that had been over-filled with water; on the brink of bursting and collapsing in on themselves. My body had become weak, my muscles slowly becoming insensible and my once rapid heartbeat followed suit. Each lathargic thump against my chest decreased by the second as my head drifted backwards under the water as my conciousness was slipping from me. Before I knew it I was seeping further and further into nothing, until I was darkness and the darkness was me...

What felt like a lifetime had passed by. I remember opening my eyes and being met by by those little magic fireballs that I love and I thought 'This is it, im in heaven now' . I was finally in a place were pain no longer existed, I was an angel, I was safe, I was free. Then all of a sudden, a felt a ripple twinge through my stomach and surge up my throat. Before I knew it, my entire body had jolted forwards and water spluttered out of my mouth and over my freezing cold legs. Pain took over my body and I felt limp as I strained to keep myself from falling staright back to the ground again. "No," I cried to myself as I looked around, the familiar surroundings becoming all the more prominent. The blanket of soft white sand that covered the floor, that was lined by the dark blue ocean that I knew all too well and just ahead of that, in the short distant was the towering rocky cliff, the waves continuing to thrash against the bottom of as they were that short while ago. The pace of my heartbeat sped up and vigorously thrashed against my chest as I began to come the realization that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. "NO!" I shouted into the dark sky, my voice quivering. I found the energy to get up off my feet  and furiously kicked at the sand, ignoring my weakened muscles and aching skin. "WHY!" I screamed into the sky once more, hoping that if there was something greater than this universe, that he was listening. "WHY ME!" I broke down, collapsing on the floor again, my weakness getting the better of me.

"Hey...hey!" I suddenly heard a deep voice come out of nowhere and then the soft patter-patter of sand as the sound got closer to me. I looked around, searching for the voice in the darkness around me and then I saw a tall figure running towards me with something thrown over his shoulder. "Hey are you okay?" The figure stopped in front of me, kneeling down to my side, he looked familiar, even in the darkness, the glimmer from the moon and stars allowed me to take in his features. He was tall, almost around 6ft, my gaze drifted over his figure, his clothes were soaked through and clung to him, same with his dark hair that was slapped to his cheek. His pale skin contrasted with the darkness and I couldn't quite make out the colour of his eyes which stared at me with concern. "Are you okay?" His deep, raspy voice repeated.

I stared back at him, sad and confused, a million and one things rushed through my head that It had become so overwhelming. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Noah, I pulled you out from the sea, I...I thought you were dead," He explained, his voice was panicked and threaded with concern and worry. Anger immediately rushed through me.

"You." I spat, "You're the reason I'm still here!" The pitch of my voice heightening and tears quickly sprung to my eyes, "Did you think I wanted to be saved? I didn't want to be here, why did you do this to me, I cant be here any more, you stupid idiot!" Words began to tumble out of my mouth so quickly I didn't even understand half the things I just said, "I'm better off dead" where the final worlds that came out of my mouth before. I couldn't contain my emotions much longer, every ounce of sadness, anger, pain, every bad thing I had ever felt in my lifetime poured out of me and I became a bumbling mess.