today I told my parents i thought i had a sleeping problem..
they laughed
i cried, for the first time in forever in front of them
i told them I was serious
they went to the drugstore and bought me some sleeping pills
it helped a little .. I took a nap
but the pills make me feel..
weak but strong
weak because i know i can fück up again and take too many
strong because im proud of myself for being alive.
