The Story of Kaydee

Chapter 1

Kaydee's POV

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I couldn't stop laughing. The pain in my stomach was nearly unbearable from my excessive giggling. I sat next to Kaitlyn at lunch. Her jokes were terribly corny, that only laughter was acceptable. "Oh look! There's Arielle!" I thought. I looked to my left to see her plant herself next to me. "Oh my god! There's a freakin' peanut in my shoe!" Arielle shouted.

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My laughter broke out once again. "Better hope there are no elephants around", Kaitlyn winked. I giggled again but Arielle was unamused and looked at Kaitlyn with a scowl. She looked as if she was thinking "Please dear Snoop Dogg, shut this nigga up." Arielle went back to her regular self and opened up her bookbag to retrieve her lunchbox. It was a really childish lunchbox with Spider-Man on it. Mmm... Andrew Garfield... SNAP OUT OF IT KAYDEE!

Lindsay comes with Liane to sit down at the lunch table. "Hey fruitcakes", I said. Lindsay shot Kaydee a homicidal look. "You look cute today."

"Oh well you know how I do", she says flipping her hair. NONONO. You're suppose to say thank you peasant. "Said her name was Georgia Rose and her daddy was a dentist", I sang. "Yo name ain't Georgia Rose, yo name is basic", Arielle interrupts.

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I really need to control my laughter. The rest of the lunch period I just talk to Lindsay, Liane and Kaitlyn while Joselee and Arielle sit there like losers talking about less important things like fibromyalgia. Pssshhh. I can smell the basic from here. Well, from Joselee of course because Arielle slays. She's soooo fablus. Not fabulous but fablus. She's still a loser though. "Bye guys, I is going to the library", I say, standing up from my seat, thinking about my poor grammar. "I wanna come too", Kaitlyn adds. "Okay, come along, beard", I say.. I'm actually a male leprechaun who likes to be called a girl. You don't know my life story, okay?

We stroll along to the library. We go through the gate and inside the library we go. YAY BOOKS! If there was a whole book about Sterek, I would totally read it like, oh my gosh. Oh, I forgot Kaitlyn was here. I saw books and I got turned on a little. OMG there's a book about bumblebees! Holy freakin' crap! YASSS GAGA YASSS! I have been waiting for this my entire life! Forget Kaitlyn! Come to me my dearest bumblebee! That rhymed.

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I run over to the bumblebee book with my arms opened wide, hoping that the book would run into my arms. Instead I smashed my face into the bookshelf and fell over. "Beard, I need help and I can't get up", I say in pain. "I told you to get one of those old people buttons", she replies. "Shut up and get my Paris Hilton special edition first aid kit!" I yell. We're probably going to get kicked out of the library now. I lay there as Kaitlyn slowly walks to grab my Paris Hilton first aid kit. She comes back after a several hundred years and so I died. Just kidding! She comes back in two days and sprays the sparkly pink stuff on my boo boos. I stand up afterwards and brush myself off.

"You're really dumb", Kaitlyn retorts. "And you're my beard so shut up; you have no say, you basic taco", I say rudely. "Whatever hoe, you don't know what you'd do without me", Kaitlyn says, flipping her hair. I roll my eyes and push her on the floor. "Go buy me bacon and make sure it's cooked this time", I say, shooing her away. Kaitlyn cries and runs out of the library.

-

"Beard, where's my bacon? I thought I told you to get my bacon", I say rudely. "Yeah, but you're mean so you can get your own damn bacon", Kaitlyn scoffs, a fake smile plastering itself across her face. "Whatever, I'm going to find Jared." I walk away sassily, strutting my stuff.

Jared was a fine piece of booty. One day I planned to do the frickle frackle but, only if my beard would stop getting in the way. Maybe Jared would marry Corey instead. Whatevs.

"Jared!" I called out. "Does my butt look big in these shorts?" He asked, turning to the side for me to see. "Do you want it to?" I questioned. "Yeah", he answered. "Then maybe you should start booty poppin'", I suggested. "Make dat booty werk!" I exclaim, snapping my fingers. "Kaydee, has anyone ever told you that you remind them of Bob the Builder?" Jared asked. "Um, no."

"Oh, never mind then. Where's your beard, Kaydee?"

"She's plucking her eyebrows", I reply. "It's four o'clock in the afternoon though. Who plucks their eyebrows at four in the afternoon?" He said. "My beard does, Jared. She's also looking for my for my Paris Hilton Special Edition first aid kit. She left it somewhere and now she can't find it. What if I get another boo boo? I can't handle that, Jared! It's just too much", I cry, going into hug Jared. "Ew, don't touch me, I don't want your basic in contact with my skin", he said, pushing me away. "No one cares about your gringo problems, Kaydee."

"But, Jared, you're white too!" I yelled out. "That may be true, hon, but I ain't as white as you", he smirked. "Shut up, Jared", I say, rolling my eyes in defeat. "Do you want me to leave you alone, or nah?" He says, clicking his tongue before he said 'or nah'.

"Jared, go away", I mumble. "Lemon chicken", he responds. I cringe at the thought of lemon on chicken but then I question why it tastes so good. "Gurl, you dumb", he continues. "See ya later boo boo", he winks, snapping his finger, strutting down the hallway.